First relationships are usually extremely important. They shape the path our future personal relationships take. Additionally, they also chart our expectations from our future relationships. What is a rebound relationship? Until recently I used to believe that rebound relationships are when you enter a subsequent relationship far too soon after the demise of your last relationship. Someone recently brought a point to my attention that changed the way I look at rebound relationships. Aren’t all our relationships after the first a sort of rebound relationship?
Initially I dismissed this thought on the basis that time if you are over the last relationship then how can the next be a rebound? But I still gave it some thought in my spare time. While mulling over it, I started thinking about whether we ever really get over our previous relationships?
Previous relationships mostly end on a bad note. The intensity of the bad note can be different for different people in different relationships but most relationships end on a bad note. In time, people erase the feelings they had for their exes. Memories too fade away. But do memories ever really leave the heart or mind (depending on which you use)? Certain moments, places, songs, photos suddenly trigger memories related to the forgotten ex. These memories bring out different feelings in different people, some feel nostalgic, some betrayed, some angry, some sad and some happy. If someone can still have the power to effect a person’s emotions means that the person still dwells somewhere in the other’s mind or heart. If that is true that means somewhere at some level the person is yet to get over their ex. If, again, that is true, it means that every subsequent relationship is then a rebound relationship. So, the real question is.. do we ever really get closure on our previous relationships? Can we really erase everything we ever felt so strongly for someone? Or do we simply fill the hole left by them in our hearts with our next? Can our next relationship fill into that hole completely such that we forget everything related to the last or is a blast from the past inevitable?
The point made by your friend is valid. But the new person is not supposed to fill in for your ex but is meant to have a relationship with you, make you happy, be made happy by you. So is anyone’s first or last love. A rebound relationship is more of a relationship to take mind off your past than look into the future. Depends how long anyone is stuck up in their past. Some people get out of the phase, other’s years..and for some it takes a lifetime.
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