As much as I enjoy putting my thoughts down on paper I hate discussing them with mankind. In general, I dislike interacting with most humans. I find some superficial, some fake and most plain boring. I take a loot of time to get to making friends. I even have a full proof technique for making friends. I first analyse the people around me for a few weeks. I then shortlist the ones I deem good enough to make my acquaintance. I then make “my moves” on them. It very rarely so happens that I instantly befriend someone. Mostly because I don’t let people get too close too soon in the fear of getting hurt. When I become friends with someone I give it my everything. By everything I mean my entire soul. In return, I usually expect the same. I set very high expectatioms from the people I let through the walls of my heart. Most people end up disappointing me mainly because of my own highly unrealistic expectations.
Almost all my initial interactions with mankind are awkward. One, I don’t bother to remember names until the person is important enough that I have to. Two, I’m not good with faces either. Why remember details about someone you don’t give a damn about? When I am first introduced to someone, most people think of me as extremely shy or arrogant (depending upon how nice they are) which, my close friends can vouch for, I’m not. For me to open up to someone is a real task. Its only when I do open up that people get to see the awesome, loving me (I’m presuming I am all this and more :D) that I hide from strangers.
So, how do I work on my flaw of awkward human interaction? I am in a B-school and the first funda of MBA is ‘networking’. That very word creeps me out but its something I want to work on. I sit in class and watch my classmates interact and wonder why I don’t get that feeling inside me to make the effort to interact with them. Don’t get me wrong, I do talk to people but just not enough. Like I don’t make a REAL effort to interact with about 80% of my class. It has been a month and I don’t even know the names of around 35 of my classmates and I have only 60. (More than 50 percent!!! Embarrassed!) Do I want to talk to them? Not all for sure, but some aren’t that bad I’m presuming. (FYI.. I judge people a lot!! How else do you think I shortlist people worthy of being my friends??)
Any expert advice in the same will be appreciated. Else, just wish me luck in my new endeavour!! 🙂
5 Comments Add yours
I guess we all are socially awkward. I hate talking to people and find it highly impossible to talk. Wish could give you some tips but I have no tips to offer. In the end all the best try finding out how to manage around people.
Lol. I don’t think everyone is socially awkward. Most people have a knack to talk to people. Its jus us few weirdos or maybe we are the cool ones. 🙂
I guess maybe
This so reflects my state of mind.I am not the sort who can open to anyone and everyone. I have to be able to trust the person first. And because of this many people come up with the theory that I have got an attitude. We are just people who sometimes need to be dealt with tenderly to make us let you into our world. Especially when one has been hurt before, it makes you a bit of a recluse.
I second that. Its easier to be alone than to nurse a broken a heart. I’d rather not have friends than be with people with whom I need to pretend to be someone I am not. 🙂
I am lucky that in the past my ‘social awkwardness’ hasn’t come in the way of me making amzaing friends like you! ❤
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