He is just not that into you

The one problem that constantly haunts girls is ‘overthinking’. Give us free time anytime during the day and we will spend it ‘over-analyzing’ every single thing that happened during the day. The greatest philosophers the world has seen could’ve been girls if only we would have spent the time, we spend on analyzing meaningless nonsense, on analyzing things that affect the world. Maybe then a woman would’ve overshadowed the likes of Plato and Aristotle.

The one doubt that revolves maximum in the minds of young and single women is the doubt that has bothered women for centuries, it is a doubt that can have no explanation and no understanding and yet in every century women spend hours of their lives in pursuit of the answer to this doubt. ‘Is he into me’ the one doubt that makes a woman over analyze even the Ys in his ‘hey’ message. Women analyse everything from why didn’t he message to why did he message. Nothing and no straightforward explanation is good enough for us. We need to get to the bottom of everything, every teeny tiny little thing that he does or says. We spend hours in bed unable to sleep because he didn’t message all day. We spend hours in the shower analyzing every word he said over dinner the previous night. A sudden ‘good morning’ message one morning will ruin our entire morning cause we can’t figure out why he messaged out of the blue. A missing ‘good night’ message one night will make sure we can’t sleep as we toss and turn, checking our phones every second, trying to figure out what in the world kept him from messaging.

Sometimes the thoughts inside our head are so varied and weird and yet we don’t stop thinking and reading between the lines. It is something so innately woman to analyse the situation, the words, the actions till the last point, till we can analyse no further. Next, we bring in additional brains that is our close girlfriends who join us and present the situation in a different light, a light whose missing would’ve probably saved us a few hours of brain storming and hours of sleeplessness. Our girls help us look for rays of hope amidst the dark clouds of rejection. They make you believe that he is into you but needs time to figure out things. They will make you believe that he is not texting you cause he loves you. They will show you step by step how all his indifferent actions mean that he is secretly vying for your attention. They will run you through evidence that his aloofness is a sign of his want for you.

Why is it so important for us to figure out as soon as possible if the guy we like is into us too? Why is it so important that the guy we like should like us back? He isn’t the first and most probably isn’t the last we are going to like. Why can’t we wait a while, watch where the situation heads and then wait for things to unfurl? Why this hurry to have his feelings sorted out? Why do we need to figure out how he feels instead of feeling it over the course of time? Why can’t we accept if he isn’t into us? Why do we need to find ways to prove to us that he does in fact like us when he doesn’t?

Most guys take things related to their emotions really slow. They take time in liking a girl, longer to pursue her and longest to fall head over heels in love with her. Girls on the other hand cannot wait to just fall in love and start their ‘ever after’ as soon as they meet someone half suitable for them. Is it because girls are needy? Or am I generalizing a lot? I’m sure there are women who take things slow too but my guess is that they weren’t like that always. They, in all probability, learnt from their past mistakes, unlike a lot of their counterparts.

So what are some of the tell tale signs that he isn’t into you? I am no master in this but I am going to do some intelligent guess work here.
1. He doesn’t call or message or email or contact you on his own ever. Yeah, with your initiation you have great conversations but left on his own, he probably wouldn’t even realize that you are gone.
2. His actions say one thing and his words another. He may text you cute messages but his actions don’t corroborate anything he says. His words make your heart skip a beat but his actions make you feel hollow inside.
3. He makes you and a dozen of other girls feel really special.
4. He is never around for the special moments.
5. He doesn’t want to be seen being romantic with you and makes sure that everyone knows that you both are platonic.
6. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and isn’t interested in meeting yours.
7. You don’t feature in any of his plans, not even his future dinner plans.
8. He doesn’t know any of your favourites nor does he want to know.
9. He doesn’t drop you to your doorstep after your date.
10. He doesn’t take interest in your interests instead forces you to do what he likes.
11. Keeps you low on his priority list. Other things even small things like food, sports, hanging out with his other friends etc. take priority over you.
12. Doesn’t find out where you, how you are or if you have reached home safely or not (after a date especially).
13. All you get to hear are excuses and more excuses.
14. When you spend more time thinking of him than with him.

These are a few of the very typical signs that he is just not that into you. Stop over thinking everything he does and says, because you can’t fool yourself into a lull that he might just be into you. If you realize that he isn’t into you, don’t fool yourself by hoping that it will change over time or that your feelings/love can change it over time. If a guy wants to be with you he will make it possible to be with you. He will make it work out. If all you are left with are excuses and aching, then get as far as you can from him. There is someone out there who is just that much into you. He will make it worth the wait, the heart breaks and all the pain.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Hit the nail to the point. He is just not that into you if he does no go the extra mile for you.


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