Its less than two weeks to Valentine’s day. My head is filled with thoughts about love. In a few days from today, people will start showering each other with gifts, cards, roses, chocolates as a way to show their love to one another. A few others will watch from the sidelines, frowning down upon this extravagant display of love. And here I sit wondering.. What is love?
My thoughts about love have been called retro, Victorian era-ish. I believe in a kind of love that only exists in classics and Nicholas Sparks’ novels. I, for one, cannot relate to the ’50 shades of grey’ and ‘Twilight’ love. I asked a couple of friends what they felt love is and here are their responses:
Supriya, a veteran in the field of love, will be completing 9 years with her beloved this February. She is one of the few people from our age, that I know of, who has had a successful highschool romance. She defined love as: ‘I think love is something that comes naturally. It’s not that everything will always be pretty and rosy but it is something like your survival instinct, even if it’s not easy it’s what you have to do. Being with that person is easy but you don’t always have the right circumstances and you have to fight through these circumstances to make the relationship survive. Love is like basic nature for me, like breathing and I can’t be happy without my better half.’
From the veteran to the fresher in the area of love. Akanksha (ahsknaka.wordpress.com), a very dear friend of mine, is yet to find ‘the one’. She and I have been friends for a decade now. A decade of being hopeless romantics waiting for true love to knock on our doors. She defines love as: ‘Love is that which sends butterflies in your stomach, and love is also a promise to be there for someone. Its different for everybody, people show it in different ways, but at the end of the day, it is something that makes you go the extra mile for the person you love.’ Here is hoping that my lovely girl finds her Prince Charming soon.
From the unmarried to the married, my very own sister and a fellow blogger, Medha (medhahegde.wordpress.com). She has been married for a little over a year. She married her best friend of 8years, Vikram, in the year 2014. Her definition of love is: ‘Love is going the extra mile for the person you love. Love is just loving the person with all his/her imperfections. Love is accepting and respecting the person for who he / she is. When you love someone you do not necessarily have to live a hundred years with that person. Not all love stories have happy endings. Sometimes it is easier to let go of the love for the happiness of the one you love. Love is seeing the person you love smile and hoping that you are the reason for it.’ Here is hoping that Medha and Vikram have many happy love filled years together.
From the ‘oh-so-ideal’ to the practical definition of love. Chandan, an old friend, who is yet to find his better half, has become practical over the years. His definition of love is: ‘Love is when your priorities are decided by preferences of the one you love and you have no complaints about that.’ Over the years, he has become skeptical about finding everlasting, undying love, the type that exists in romance novels only. Hope that he finds ‘ishq waala love’ soon.
Srishty, my BFF and a fellow blogger (srishtygrover.wordpress.com), shares my love for reading, writing, eating and shopping. She has a very straightforward definition of love: ‘Love is not definable as it is felt differently by every creature, but the one thing that love always has is passion, in some or the other form.’ Love has different forms, different feelings, different ways of showing but yeah, passion is the underlying emotion involved. Here is hoping that she finds love in different forms wherever she goes.
From one BFF to another, Chhavi is one of the most amazing people I know. Her husband, Sahil, is another gem of a person. They tied the knot in July 2015 after a few years of dating each other. They are one of the cutest couples I know. According to Chhavu (who is a foodie and lazy) love is: ‘butter on a parantha!’ This couple is an inspiration to me and I wish them a lot of love and togetherness.
From one inspirational couple to another. Nita, my aunt, is going to celebrate 25years of togetherness with her hubby, Deepak, this year. For her the definition of love is: ‘Love is without choices. No choice but to feel these feelings even if it isn’t reciprocated. You can’t opt out and you don’t want to either.’ Here is wishing this couple many many more years of togetherness, love and happiness.
Divya, an old school friend of mine, is soon going to tie the knot with the love of her life. Like any soon-to-be-bride, Divya is all gushy and romantic in her description of love. Having her fairytale come true makes Divya define love as:
‘Love is being with someone with whom you can be yourself. It is a feeling which gives you so much strength that you can face any difficulty in life with much ease cause you know at the end no matter what happens there will always be someone standing beside you to support always. To me, love is strength, compassion and an emotion that gives me the courage to forgo small pleasures in life in order to build a better life for me and my family.’ I wish her and her soon to be hubby a beautiful and love filled journey ahead.
Debolina, a romantic at heart and a typical Bong, is currently pursuing her MBA and looking for ‘sacha waala’ love. Her definition of love is: ‘Love is care. Love is when I smile in his happiness, cry in his tears and he does the same for me. Love is when I scold him out of concern and so does he but then we hug and know that we are there for each other. Love is when we hold hands, walk together and laugh without any regard to the world around us. Love is what remains after the spark goes out. Love is felt in the heart – forever.’ Hoping that she finds this sweet love soon.
My friend, Chirag, had a rather simple answer to my question. For him, love is “always” (Harry Potter reference). But on insisting on a real answer, I got a reply that was extremely long and complicated. Here it is: ‘People say love is a feeling, but I feel love is a realization which you achieve once you have either lost the person or you miss them. That is the moment you realize how much you care/ like that person. Now it is important to realize the difference between the terms care, like and love but again nobody can tell you who like, love or care for. You need to realize that on your own. I’ll give an example which most of us might relate to, i.e. love for siblings. You know you have been with them throughout their life but when you are apart, that is when you realize how much you love them. Now if you cared for them you would ask them basic questions about meals/ their day, you like them (which most of us eventually learn to do) you miss them and want to meet them, but when you love them, you just wish wherever they are whatever they are doing, they are happy and achieve whatever they want to in life. Now even though you miss them and it might hurt but you will never tell them that because telling them might make them sad which will make you feel guilty of hurting the person you love. If you care for them enough eventually this reason won’t be sufficient to stop you from telling them and if you like them you might last a little longer, but if you really love them you will only them when you meet them and make sure they don’t feel bad about it.’
From a sweet definition to an even sweeter definition. Divya is one of the sweetest and simplest people I know. I’ve known her from my college days. She defines love as: ‘To care for someone and want to be there for them when the person is facing challenges and to bring happiness to their life, even if the time you spend together is limited. To wish happiness for the person even if you are not a part of their life. Love is selfless and can be given only if you have it inside you.’ Hope her life is always filled with the sweetness of love.
A friend, who is a huge romantic and has just started dating the girl of his dreams, described love as: ‘Love is when you are prepared to be vulnerable.’ It is one of the simplest and truest definitions of love that I have heard. You can’t truly love without being vulnerable.
All of these wonderful people have different thoughts about love but they all agree that love is beautiful.
For me, love is choosing to be with a person everyday till eternity. Wanting to wake up next to them every morning. Wanting the best for them. Lighting up on seeing the one you love. Looking for their face in crowded spaces. Trying to make them happy everyday. Finding happiness in their happiness. Wanting to spend time together. Taking their dreams and finding space for them in yours. Trusting someone with the most precious thing that is yours; your heart. Love doesn’t mean being with the one you love. Love means finding happiness in whichever relationship you share with the person. Love is this high feeling. Its like a strong drug. A very strong drug.
Wishing you all a very happy Valentine’s day! May your lives always be filled with love. ❤
“Unless it is mad, passionate and extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life – love should not be one of them!”