A new year is here. My 28th year. It’s crazy how time flies. Yes, I sound like an oldie, pardon me, I am ageing! 😦 Every year I think of the many new things I’ll do in the new year but hardly get around to doing them. 2017 was a weird year. I moved cities. Started a new job. Bid B-school adieu with a very very heavy heart. Lost someone important. Found many important people. The year held the saddest moments of my life and some very happy moments too. But overall I guess 2017 taught me that I can survive everything. It taught me that happiness is a choice. It’s a choice we make daily. It’s a choice we make through everything that happens. It’s the only thing in our control. We cannot control what happens to us, what people do to us, who stays, who leaves; we can control how we react to it. I choose peace and happiness. Maybe not all day but every day.
I make a long list of resolutions every year. I promise myself things that I never achieve. I feel good about them at the beginning of the year and by the third, fourth month I postpone it to the very next year. I haven’t made such a list this year. This despite all the positives I took away from the tough year that 2017 was, I came to realize how less I love myself. It’s very ironic because I think I’m an old school romantic who lives, eats, breathes love. I’m quick to love people and love them with all my heart. Yet, I realized I find it hard to love myself. I constantly disrespect myself and let others do that too. I wish this realization hadn’t come the way it did. Yes, that night was horrible. Yes, it included getting horribly drunk alone and hating myself more. But morning brought with it realization and a lot of hope.
Here is hoping that 2018 be the year that I achieve my one and only resolution – loving myself so much that I reject anything and anyone that doesn’t respect and love me the way I want. ❤