The last 2-3 weeks have been hard. It’s been super frustrating – work, me, people I am working with, friends and others. I am frustrated enough to ignore the piling up work to blog instead. I haven’t been the best version of myself for me these past few weeks and I really need to work on it. I’ve been hard at myself for not being able to keep up and for requiring down time – but isn’t that only human?
Things I’ve Not Been Keeping Up With In April
This blog and my blogging fam – I haven’t been the most present these past few weeks – I’ve tried to keep up with posting and reading posts but it has just been SO hard. So if I haven’t engaged with you on your last few posts – know it’s not you, it’s me and I’m going to catch a breather soon and read all the posts I’ve missed!
Being kind to myself – I don’t deal well with stress and it acts up in my sleeping schedule – I wake up every night in panic (thank you anxiety) and instead of being nice to myself – I end up reprimanding myself for not doing stuff right and ending up with all the stress. I’ve also been binge eating a lot to cope with the stress and it is just the worst thing I can do – since its taken me years to break that cycle. I really need some self care time this weekend!
Being patient – I’ve been working with a vendor for the past 2 months – when I finally got the work I needed from him – it was shoddy and sloppy. When I explained it to him – he refused to accept blame for the shoddy work and instead left me to clean up the mess. All in all – my patience level has been breached and I am PISSED AF.
Being productive – I honestly feel like I can increase my productivity a lot but I just feel like time keeps passing and I am unable to finish things off – I think I’m bad at managing my day and once I’m off work I’m bad at managing my off time too. I really need a lesson on time management!
Working out – I need to get back into a routine of working out for 30 mins every day – it is what keeps me sane but I just haven’t had the time or energy to do so.
Cooking – I love cooking and it helps me destress but I just haven’t had the energy or mood to cook this past week – I have been cooking but nothing amazing because I’ve been cooking just for surviving.
Being kind to people around me – I have 10 pending calls that I have to make to friends who I promised I’d call but never got around to calling. If you’re one of them – I’m sorry – but I will get back to you shortly. I haven’t been present in the lives of those around me – and I want to do better on this in the coming weeks.
Being self employed – I saw this relatable meme which went like – ‘why is it hard working for myself?’ – because I am a very strict boss and a very lazy employee. Boy, do I relate with this! I am so harsh as a boss with setting timelines for myself and I am an equally lazy employee who just wants to postpone the tough work – so yeah – it’s been a hard few weeks!
Reading – I’m not proud of it but I haven’t read a single page yet! Every time I’m off work I just crave to re-watch a comfort show like Gilmore Girls or Brooklyn 99 or The Middle – and totally don’t feel like reading. It’s also probably because my 3 TBR for the month are all very heavy reads. If you have any light read recommendations – please let me know in the comments.
Here’s hoping I do better in the coming weeks. How have you been doing these past few weeks? Let me know in the comments below! ❤
PS: I just launched a brand of sustainable home and personal care products in India – would mean the world to me if you would support it. Check out the details here.
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Happy Panda 
Sorry you have been feeling like this! I’ve been feeling like this too and have basically just muddled through everything as best as I can and that’s all you can do really. Get a to do list and work through it. I found that switching off from everything for a week helped. Work, blog etc and focus on family and friends and reading! Hope you find a way through it soon. I’d recommend the midnight library by Matt Haig for a easy soul searching read x
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Tbh well done for being aware of all this! I think not being aware can be half the problem sometimes from my own experience.
Sorry to hear you’re feeling a bit all over the place. I too feel like I’ve got my minds in all sorts of places recently but know I’m nearing a social media detox/recharge period. Take care and be kind to you xx
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My goodness, I can relate to almost all of these! 🙈 At least know you’re not alone -we’re all in it together! It’s true that light read books are usually easier when you feel this way. Currently, I’m reading The French for Always (from my bookclub picks) and I think you might enjoy it. It’s set in a beautiful chateau in the south of France and it makes for a good getaway to everything happening atm! 🙂 ALSO, I feel it is only appropriate if you told us the 9 things you didn’t keep up with in April, that you tell us 9 things you DID keep up with, too! 👍🏽🙃💜
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Oh that feels bad, I relate with some of these points too! Especially the not reading part. I just joined Goodreads recently so I can keep a track of my progress and hopefully that would encourage/motivate me enough to read more. As a light read, I would recommend you Bluets by Maggie Nelson. It’s written in a very poetic prose memoir style and is such a short book and I love how the whole of it is actually about the colour blue and what associations that brings to the author’s mind. Quite a compelling read! 💜☺
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It’s ok ❤❤❤ don’t be too hard on yourself
Starting something new is already a challenge in itself and then maintaining it will take a further toil!!!!!
Relax ❤❤❤
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I’ll go with Vani. Good luck 😊happy panda. 👍👍
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Oh dearest, it’s all totally ok. Sounds like you’re just overwhelmed and overworked. Also that vendor bullshit sounds sooooo frustrating and disempowering, that would def ruin my week. Hang in there and just focus on getting yourself to a happier place. If watching Gilmore Girls is the best part of your day, keep doing that! The people who care about you will still be there for you when you come out into the sun 🌞 xoxo
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Aw I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. I can feel the stress and frustration in your words and can absolutely relate. I’m also tough on myself too, even with something as gratifying as self-care is supposed to be, like doing yoga, if I miss a session I get hard on myself (even though the purpose of doing said yoga is to help me with self-care lol).. I totally get it… I often fall behind on keeping up with the blog roll but then I catch up when I can and make sure I’m present when I read them so I say, take your time, don’t feel bad and enjoy quiet time to yourself or do what brings you joy! ❤️
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sounds like too much and very stressful.
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Hey, if you need to take a step back from everything and take time for yourself, do it. We’ll still be here when you return 😊
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Totally understandable! You’ve just launched a company. That takes a lot of emotional energy! I shared the website on a Facebook group Plastic Free Living. Hope the moderators accept my post!
Be well and take care of yourself!!
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I love and appreciate how you have organized your thoughts so we’ll! It is very relatable and understandable to read your post, also a great reminder of our humanness with all our right intentions. Always gives me a smile to read from you. Wishing you lots of ease and joy!
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Aw Moksha🤗🤗(my virtual hugs) -hope you get back to feeling yourself. Take some time out and just do what makes you chill/relaxed. Couple of weeks ago, I didn’t have the energy to do anything, constantly feeling lazy and unmotivated and it’s okay to feel this way. I think sometimes your body/mind just goes through phases.
Feel good Books to read:
-My Not So Perfect Life
-The Lost Man -Jane Harper
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Moksha just take a break from it all. If that means going on leave to just sit on your couch and watch series, do that. If you don’t slow down, you might end up burnt out. We all need breaks every now and then! 💖
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This is so on point. It’s important to sometimes take a break to avoid total breakdown (mentally or physically)
I took a week break from work some weeks ago because I know that if I don’t take a break, I might burn out breakdown completely. I am glad I did,
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Good slice of life writing. Go easy on yourself. Congratulations for launch
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Thank you 🙂
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Welcome
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Lovely Moksha allow yourself to take a break. Dont worry about the things you’ve listed. You are so important. Even if it means you do nothing for a while, it will help you process everything. I also think that doing nothing is pretty great now and again 💕💕💕
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So sorry Moksha
I hope you get back on your feet sis. It’s okay to take a break, theres nothing wrong with that. We are your loyal readers we understand. We believe when you come back you’ll be rejuvenated and ten times better
Sending you virtual hugs
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Aww thank you so much for your kind words, love! ❤
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Weakness/stress is not the opposite of strength, it’s the opportunity to relax, recharge and release every iota of pressure.
I was in your shoes a few weeks ago. I suffered two out of the nine things you mentioned. One thing I learnt in those dark days is that I owe myself some ‘pausing’ and pampering.
The world is wired to keep demanding from us till we get drained. We must make it a point of duty to pause and pamper ourselves. Take time to detox and understand that you cannot please everyone.
I hope you are doing better now.
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In my head I understand this – but when I do take some down time – I start panicking and overthinking how I could be using my time better. It is so ingrained in me that chilling means that I’m not giving my work my best – and I just can’t get out of thinking that way!
But I’m definitely trying – to do better and be better. I had a good cry and IDK why but that helped calm me down A LOT.
Thank you so much for your kind words! ❤
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Dear friend, I completely understand.
I also used to think that chilling means I am not living my best life (making a difference) until recently, I discovered that I can only do better when I become better. We need to ‘be’ before we can ‘do’.
I took a week break from work last month and I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t available to teach my students but when I resumed back to school, I was able to do in 30 minutes what I used to struggle to do in 3 hours.
We do better effortlessly when we become better intentionally. We need enough strength and sound health to have great influence and affluence. I hope this encourages you to take time to chill. 🤗🤗🤗
Have a great day my friend.
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I pray that God will strengthen you through it all. You will come out stronger and sweeter.
Be blessed 🤗🤗🤗
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Sorry to hear about all the stress. Take deep breaths and do not feel bad. Just do what you can and that is all anyone can ever ask of you. Hugs.
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Thank you so much ❤
I had a good cry and I feel better now! 🙂
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I’m with you Moksha. Been feeling much the same as you describe for most of the year. I did like your latest post though – sounds like your Mojo is back? 😊
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Aww, I just hope things look up soon. Every time there is a glimmer of hope – things just get worse after. We’re having a crazy surge of COVID in India and not enough vaccinations – and it’s just been frustrating! 😦
Aww – thank you! That post was in my drafts for a bit – just finally posted it yesterday.
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Yes, I’ve been reading about the surge and am concerned for my Indian bloggers welfares. Stay safe, Moksha!
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Thank you ❤
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A few days ago, you were so happy. And it seems like, you are breaking from inside. I think you should not focus on a certain point in time and rather go for a long period with your blog. 😊Stay happy and thank you for making me happy. I’m always with you.😂😂❤😁
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Hope things have gotten quieter and smoother. This can’t last forever, right?
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India is back to lockdown. We are grappling with the worst period of COVID – there are no hospital beds, oxygen, medicines – our medical system is overwhelmed. and I am just overwhelmed too.
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We’re having our 3rd wave in Thailand and the govt decided to not go into full lockdown, but partial, so we’ll see how that goes. And yeah, the medical system right now seems to be taxed here as well. Sending you a big hug, dear.
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