How Am I?

“Should I stop blogging?”

“What is the point?”

I haven’t felt like writing in the past few days. The irritation that came along with it ensured I stayed away from the WP app. I did login to read posts but far lesser than I usually do. For the first time in the last one year – I felt like quitting on the blogging world. ‘Writer’s block’ can drive you crazy especially if you are used to writing almost every day. In preparation of moments like these, I have a bunch of draft posts that are 75% complete and require only formatting and image adding to be posting ready. My funk made doing this bare minimum effort feel so difficult. I have this amazing post almost done that I’ve been working on for 3 weeks but I just am not able to get it into a form that I am happy with. So overall it has been super frustrating to write!

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

I’ve had a few bouts of writer’s block over the past year. For someone who posts 3 times a week – it is only natural to run out of things to say. Sometimes these bouts last a few days and I suddenly find the inspiration for a new post. Sometimes it lasts a few weeks and I rely on older posts to get me through it. But it is almost always caused by my heightened anxiety. I’m back in office after the crazy COVID wave that India just went through – I feel very anxious. I postponed going back to office by a few days because leaving the house with all these crazy anxious thoughts was close to impossible. I have been having a lot of nightmares and sleeping has been difficult. (I am getting help.) So many people lost their lives in the mere duration of 2 months – it is just unfathomable. It also angers me that no one has been held responsible for the plight that our country went through thanks to the incompetent people in power.

Covid Second Wave| India Reels Under Massive Covid Spike; Covid Deaths  Mount, Burial Ground Choked - YouTube
I am not over it – the loss, the fear

But I am also excited to be back to working on my business. It was stalled these past 2 months because of COVID and a lot of my projects have been on hold since my vendors were also impacted by COVID. Here’s hoping I can get things back on track soon with new launches and products. It has been a crazy journey these past 4-5 months of working on my own – I am still nervous about it all but I believe that no matter what – it is going to be a journey to remember.

Sometimes it is so hard to express what you’re feeling. For an introvert like me, sharing my emotions and fears is even harder. I try to keep it all bottled inside me till I can take it no more. But I’m working on being more vocal about how I feel and getting help when I need it.

So, if you’ve been struggling with something and need to vent – reach out to me (an anonymous stranger) and I’ll try to be there for you. ❤ How are you?

Hope your Monday is going well!

While I work on new content, give my old posts some love –

44 Comments Add yours

  1. Hey Moksha, i just hope you will be allright soon dear and will be back with everything you love to do!!! And i must say i face exactly same feelings of irritation, frustration, quitting everything i love to do and just sit alone… So in most of human beings its almost common dear… But with time all gets back to normal… And i am so happy you are trying to be back on writing and your business work… Proud of you dear… 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much for the motivation, Soni! Really need it. I was off for a few days and it felt good to take a break. Hoping to be back with content soon. 🤗❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jas krish says:

    It requires courage to accept a life problem and then to share it on a public platform..COVID has hit many people quite badly…specially the startups and single owner businesses along with daily wagers. Many have lost jobs too or working on low salary…Though many do not realise but COVID has created psychological issues..specially for people who are not so open to discussions..
    I am sure you will fight your way through having already taken the all important first step of acceptance…
    Stay blessed and safe Moksha..🙏🌹🙏

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words.
      Its true that COVID has caused countess psychological issues to countless people over the past year. Here’s hoping it gets better from here on. 😊

      Like

      1. Jas krish says:

        🙏🙏🙏

        Like

  3. Divi says:

    Writer’s block….Well, you’ll get over it!
    As much as we LOVE reading your content, we understand that you need time for more quality content. I hope things will get wonderful and optimistic for you once again! I won’t write anymore things about the pandemic now, I think you’ve emphasized on it enough. I don’t think reminding you of the bad times is going to get you anywhere to being better.
    As you’re writing awesome things, we’ll stay patient and wait.
    Happy times ahead, for you and for India too!
    Sending lot’s of love your way.
    ~Divi.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. cathyishappy says:

    It’s tough right now and frustrations and fears are totally understandable. Try to take whatever time you need to feel stronger and ready to write again. You’ll get there! 💕

    Liked by 5 people

  5. I’ve been away for entire May from WP. Sometimes we need a break from everything otherwise would be very easy to simply stop blogging!
    Take your time and do things you love!
    Stay always safe and take care! 🌸🌼

    Liked by 4 people

  6. vaniheart says:

    I am feeling exactly the same… I don’t know what to write, what to say..,,
    I don’t feel like interacting with anyone…. I write some comment on somebody’s post and then backspace it all….. I don’t feel like continuing here anymore….. my stats are just falling and falling … but I am doing nothing..,

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am sorry that you feel this way. I will read some of your posts and leave comments. But know that stats don’t always give a clear picture of your influence as a writer.

      One click can make a whole difference. Build greater audacity to write not because you have many readers but because you have a burning passion.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. vaniheart says:

        Awwwww thank you so much for this lovely comment ❤ 💕 💖 💗 I appreciate your support ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I can relate. Blogging can be draining to be honest, and posting 3 times a week is no joke. I post twice a week and have already kinda run out of ideas, plus I just returned from a break, so I don’t know as to why I feel this way. Take your time, and don’t rush we will wait for you♥️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Writing is so fun on days when you’re brimming with thoughts and sometimes equally frustrating when you can’t find the right words to put down. Thank you so much. I hope you find ideas to write too. ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Sonali says:

    It takes great strength to acknowledge your feelings. I’m glad that you’re doing better. Sending lots of love and positive vibes ♥♥

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Hi Sonali – thank you so much! ❤️
      I guess a break will help to get me back on my feet.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sonali says:

        I guess so. Much love to you! ♥♥

        Like

  9. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    Perfectly understandable! I was posting daily during the pandemic but once the vaccines started to become available, I realized how emotionally drained I was from the very long journey. I now post when I’m able to, simply honoring the time and energy I have.

    There’s nothing wrong with you! You’re going through battle fatigue like the rest of us!

    Toss out your inner blogging rules for now! Simply honor what your spirit is able to do!

    It’s okay to do less! I don’t think anyone is judging for going through what you’re experiencing, so please feel okay about just doing what you need to!

    Blessings!
    Tamara

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much for always making me feel better. I truly feel so much after every single interaction with you. 🤗
      I guess a break will help for now. Here’s hoping I come back inspired. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

        I’m sure you will! Follow your joy!

        Write only when you feel you need to share something, don’t worry about the frequency or the schedule!

        This is the prescription I’m following myself! It’s been helping me through this strange time! 😊🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Writer’s block is the worst! I’m glad you didn’t decide to quit blogging and are still with us.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Awww. ❤️ I hope it goes away soon! It’s been so overwhelming to be on here knowing that I have nothing to write. But a break sounds good for now.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. I feel ya sister! I’ve been so anxious, moody, and dark lately. My dad pointed out he thinks it’s just my sensitivity to transitioning back into the world. I’ve been sheltered in quarantine for over a year and for me it felt so peaceful and secure not to have to deal with the world so much. Now it’s like I slip into a depressed and anxious mood at the SLIGHTEST little thing. Like I can’t handle anything lately! 🤣😬 Anyway, I sure hope you keep blogging since you are still my number one fave! I went through that a few months ago and pulled back from writing twice a week to once and it’s like omg I can finally breathe again! Thanks for writing Moksha!!! 💖

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I hate anxiety! I feel like I behave so much crazier because of anxiety. 🙈 What I’d give to be rid of it forever.
      I totally get how you feel about going out and having to interact with people again! Hope it gets better soon! Maybe once you meet your friends for brunch and wine? I miss brunches!!!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, I’m really good when I’m out and about and seeing friends because I’m actually more of an extrovert. But I get so anxious when I’m at home now, in my head, on the computer, alone with my thoughts. It’s like the transition is what is killing me. I know, I wish I could control my moods, and living with my partner I always feel bad bc he’s so even keel and I’m like a roller coaster 🎢😬 I started actually meditating again because it seems to calm me down sort of. Good luck, sister, u are not alone!!! xoxox

        Liked by 2 people

  12. You are doing great with the blog, so don’t worry about the occasional writer’s block. We all go through that once in a while. Don’t worry about us readers. You take the break that you need and relax. We will still be here when you are ready to come back to wp😊

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much. ❤️ I really hope the block doesn’t linger around too long. I’m all in for taking a break till I realise that my stats are going to crash. 🙈

      Liked by 2 people

  13. utahan15 says:

    how do you feel?
    is it like what is real?
    decide
    not to deride
    the ritual
    is soooooooooooo damn habitual

    ha ha ha

    Liked by 2 people

  14. petespringerauthor says:

    I can understand the feeling of feeling like we need to write something (especially if you have a routine), but my advice is to cut yourself a break when that happens. What do I know? I’ve only maintained a blog for two years, and I’ll never be one of those daily bloggers or even three times a week bloggers. My perspective is I’m too old (62) to be doing something if it doesn’t give me pleasure. I’m perfectly content to blog once every 7-10 days. I also know that there will be times I don’t feel inspired to write anything, and that’s really okay. I’d say it’s more important that you look after your mental health. Other things in our lives should take greater priority at times. Have a super week!

    Liked by 4 people

  15. I understand – writer’s block can be very devastating to a blogger. Take as much time as you need and don’t feel pressured to constantly release new content if you just aren’t feeling it. Personally, I’ve been struggling with feeling overwhelmed with keeping up my blog and not having much time for anything else in the day due to it. I feel like if I miss out on commenting on just one post, no one will comment on mine. So I’m very spread thin at the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ena says:

    Sorry you’re struggling! Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Shahrin says:

    Aw Moksha you have written everything I feel🧡
    I hope you are feeling a bit better. It must de devastating because even though the situation in India has gone better but you can never really heal from the trauma and lost this few months has caused so quickly. Take your time. Do your best!

    Girl, blogging is a odd one for me. These days I have no motivation to write at all and I have zero drafts🤦🏽‍♀️

    Sending you lots of love💕and virtual hugs🤗It shall get better soon(: XX

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji says:

    So sorry to hear this sis
    In glad you went back to the office and keep safe following the precautions.
    Take a break and great for now. I believe when you come back you’ll be recharged. As you rest, try to oerfefr the drafts so that you can schedule them even if you won’t be interacting, we will understand. Sending you hugs in your business and luck. And kids to you my queen..it takes a strong woman to acknowledge their feelings

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Sending you well wishes going back to the office. Its been a scary time for the world. I have been struggling from depression for some time but doing what i can to keep myself in high spirits. I have a lot of hope the future! Also your content is a joy to read so thank you x

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Nehal Jain says:

    Omg, please don’t. I know you’ll be back to your cool self soon enough. Even I feel sometimes that I should quit blogging but I know I cant do it coz it means a lot to me.
    And please don’t bottle up, like ever. If you ever need someone, if you have that one friend you can rely on, talk to them, let it all out (okay, I feel very weird saying this considering I’m younger than you, hope you don’t think I’m trying to be very wise 😶). Take care tho, we love you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  21. thefiftyedit says:

    Something I worry about is running out of content. I mean, I can only buy so many products that I can review.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. telugubloggersreenadh says:

    Everything will be alright, never loose hope.

    Like

  23. bosssybabe says:

    I feel you… I’ve been in the same slump… Writer’s block and all… I have tons to write about but actually getting it out to a point where I’m completely happy with it has been somewhat straining.. Which pains me bc I love writing and sharing… I don’t know how you find the strength and will to do it 3x a week! I post on Wednesdays and lately I’ve been leaving it to the most impossible last minute and it’s becoming stressful!!!

    Wishing you only the best all the way from Canada 🙏🇨🇦❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Same! I finally sat down and wrote a whole post yesterday but the end product just doesn’t seem that great. :/

      I have really enjoy writing 2-3 times a week – there is so much I want to say and share! But I am in a huge slump right now. Even the post I reached out to you for – I spent a few weeks fine tuning it – but I just am not happy with how it has shaped up! It is so frustrating because I was really excited about that post. 😦

      I hope we feel better soon. It’s just mercury retrograde.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Writers block is hard I think every writer goes through it. But have faith in yourself I enjoyed reading this post as it was real and honest and when you have those great qualities as a writer it’s all you need…write from the heart express yourself as you have done here and the block will be no more. Sending you lots love and light🌼💛

    Like

  25. I hear you! The number of times I’ve gone through this thought makes me wonder, but it’s almost like an addiction for me now.. it is rather difficult to continue a new business amidst these uncertainty. But I’m sure it will give you loads of motivation and passion to restart many things. Wishing you the very best

    Like

  26. cheriewhite says:

    Oh, girl! Writer’s block is the devil! I deal with it too and it’s a real buzzkill. I hope you get your blogging mojo back soon. But I’m so glad your business is picking up. I’ll pray that you have much success in both blogging and your business. Sending you lots of love and light! ❤

    Like

  27. How am I??

    Honestly, I feel like I am not doing enough. Thanks for listening.

    Like

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