I’ve talked about my crippling anxiety in a lot of previous posts. From being in control till 2020 to taking an ugly oppressive form in the post COVID era – me and my anxiety have come a long way. While I’ve mentioned the issues I have faced because of my anxiety, I have often realized that a lot of people who don’t suffer from anxiety or recognize its evil head, don’t really understand how anxiety can impact a person’s day-to-day life. More so because a lot of us suffering from anxiety do tend to lead normal lives on the surface. Despite being uncomfortable sharing this portion of my life, I want to show how anxiety impacts my day-to-day life, just so that if you come across an anxious person, you treat them with kindness, and if you are likewise inflicted you know that you are not alone.
Social anxiety –
I’ve always been an introvert who was awkward in social settings but with the lockdown and spending time alone, I now have severe social anxiety. Examples of how it impacts my day to day life –
A. I don’t look forward to meeting friends. As much as it used to be comforting to hangout with friends, these days I usually get hit with so much panic every time I have to go meet a friend.
B. As a small business owner most of my office communication is done by me. On so many days my anxiety cripples me into not being able to answer the phone and talk to whoever is calling. It literally takes me my all to just answer the phone and get through calls with strangers or business partners. On 70% of the days, I rely on WhatsApp/e-mail for all my communication because I just can’t get myself to talk to strangers on the phone.
C. I just can’t bring myself to go to the gym when there is a possibility of a lot of people being there. I usually time myself to either go very early morning or at lunchtime. This has messed up my schedule so much.
D. I cancel on dates all the time unless I am super comfortable with the person on chat. The first 30 minutes of a first date are always supremely awkward since I am too anxious to just be myself. I can’t even make proper eye contact while talking and keep staring at my hands or at the wall behind them. (Arghhh)
General Anxiety
I’ll be doing fine for weeks and then one innocuous day I’ll be hit with a panic attack from out of nowhere and then I won’t have the energy to just get out of bed and adult. (I put on a mask and get to it anyway.)
A. In my anxious phases, I depend a lot on food for comfort but I also like keeping my binge eating in check which leads to crazy days of overeating followed by days of not eating enough.
B. I’m always at the edge, a slight change in my peace and I have a full-blown panic attack.
C. I dread even talking to my therapist when I’m in an anxious state.
D. I look down and walk and don’t make eye contact with anyone in an attempt to be invisible.
E. Every time I get a mail that I know might spark my anxiety and I literally throw my phone away and ignore it till I can’t anymore.
I could go on and on about how I behave ‘differently’ when in an anxious state but these are some of the examples of how anxiety impacts me. A lot of times when I bring up my anxiety in conversations with people I realize that they think it is made up (which to be fair it is- all made up in my head). With this post, I wanted to share some of my experiences where anxiety makes it hard to function to normalize accepting people with anxiety.
PS: I am not a medical professional and don’t have any advice to offer to anyone that suffers from anxiety or any other mental health problems. My one recommendation is not to take advice from people who are not qualified to give advice. 🙂
Give my other recent posts some love –
Happy Panda 
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles with anxiety. I get it. I’ve lived through it.
In order to better handle it I needed to develop some tools to be able to face my day to day experiences.
What at your tools you have and are developing? What helps you lift yourself up? What helps you stop sliding down the rabbit hole further?
You’ve got this!
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I put distance between myself and whatever is spiking my anxiety. I go for a walk, listen to music or just watch an episode from my favourite show to just clear my head. And ofcourse, breathing exercises whenever I’m close to a panic attack.
I’m so sorry that you suffer from this too. What tools do you use?
Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes it feels so made up everything that I’m feeling, it helps knowing I’m not the only one.
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It’s a real thing! Not everyone understands this!
I’ve had Chronic Shingles for years and thankfully they’re mostly in remission. However, I’ve had to learn the hard way that I don’t have the stamina that other people have and so I need to take very good care of myself or my health goes downhill fast. I run out of gas easily so doing too much isn’t advisable.
When I get run down, I’m susceptible to depression and anxiety. I learned that the hard way, so now I monitor myself carefully. Even so, anxiety can still creep in, because I’m not monitoring myself constantly and when I feel better sometimes I overdo it! 😜
When I start to experience anxiety symptoms I go into self analysis mode: have I been getting enough sleep! Do I need more rest?
Which supplements do I need to boost with? Extra vitamin C, B complex, add some D. Fish oil capsules, CBD to sleep.
I also have learned that getting outside for a walk really helps. It’s that magical elixir of fresh air, sunshine, mild exercise plus I use a combination of meditative prayer AND positive feedback to both settle my mind and lift my spirits.
I relearned how I speak to myself. I had to totally learn a bee way, because speaking kindly and positively to myself felt unnatural and uncomfortable. I easily slipped back into speaking harshly and very unkindly to myself for that was the natural extension of how I had been spoken to and treated.
By teaching myself to speak kindly and non judgmentally to myself, I gradually rewired my brain, changing its natural go-to’s for my thoughts.
Out of everything I have done, that was the most difficult.
It’s very difficult to do, and requires long term perseverance. There will be backsliding because the brain fights against rewiring itself. It is possible, it just takes time.
No one is weak or a bad person when their mind slides down the negative rabbit hole. However, we’re probably the only ones who have the deep power to change it!
Relief from external people and events is only for a short period of time, but doing the hard inner work of teaching ourselves to like ourselves yields longer lived rewards!
The nice thing about becoming the person who lifts ourselves up, is that we’re always available, even if we do need to give ourselves some prodding to do so!
Practicing speaking nicely, kindly and suspending judgment is a key piece for this to come together!
It is difficult to do in the beginning because it feels so unnatural! Don’t give up on it though! Keep doing it and with time it feels a little more natural! With time we grow very comfortable speaking positively to ourselves, because we have come to see it is true!
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M, thank you for sharing something so personal that I know you hate to share. This sounds so torturous and awful and I’m so sorry you have to deal with this on a regular basis. It sounds quite debilitating and exhausting as well. I’d love to help but I don’t know how I can so I’ll just keep being your friend bc of course none of all that matters to me ☺️💖
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Your being my friend helps a lot! ☺️
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☺️☺️☺️💖💖💖
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I’m so sorry to hear about your anxiety, girl. I have a lot of trouble with social anxiety as well, it’s easier for me to isolate myself, which makes me miss out on fun life experiences 🙁
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I so get you! It’s such a tussle choosing between missing out on a fun experience and feeling socially drained out after.
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A very brave and personal post. You will help so many people by sharing how anxiety feels to you. Well done and keep doing what you’re doing. You’re amazing!
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Means a lot. ❤️
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I am glad you opened up on this matter. I am sure it would have relaxed your mind and taken a ton of things of your chest. I think staying in and around nature and marvelling at its beauty should help. I am no medical expert but natural beauty is something that works for all. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing. I have certainly had times that I have had crippling anxiety. Generally though, I have high-functioning anxiety and depression. Sometimes, I feel like that can be worse because the world shames axiety so much that I feel the only way to be is high-functioning. Sending you lots of love and best wishes ❤ ❤ ❤
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I can relate to so much of this. I suffer from generalised and social anxiety too. Thanks to my anxiety I always end up doing things last minute because I get anxiety while doing them such as replying to emails or comments on my social pages etc. I work online so that part sucks. I also find it hard to go to crowded places and socialising definitely gives me so much anxiety. People don’t realise how much anxiety effects the little things in life. It’s not all panic attacks in the bathroom. Sometimes it’s as simple as not picking up a phone call because talking on the phone gives you anxiety.
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Understand you…when you have anxiety you often not yourself because even the way you answer or have conversations it’s just not you at all and sometimes if asked something you end up agreeing but not meaning it because anxiety in a way blocks the way you think…
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Yeah exactly.
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Thanks for your honesty in sharing Ru as it might help others as well. I used to suffer from anxiety as well. Some of it could be hormones as well and some is just learning coping skills.. hang in there and good you’re sharing it which also helps or did me! 💖💖
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I admire you for having the courage to share your anxieties. I firmly believe we’re all scared of certain things, but social anxiety is way up there on the list of fears for most people. Your post is honest and informative—that’s how we educate others and start to lose the stigma attached to mental health.
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Thanks for being honest and brave by sharing your experience. And I totally get some parts of this, as I, a writer who needs to deal with various clients, also stress out about e-mails and phone calls from bosses or those I barely know, even if it’s just a friendly chat. Anyway, thanks for this post!
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People who never experienced anxiety will never understand what you going through but there are who understands because they are experiencing the exact same thing as but now the question is how to overcome anxiety?
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I want to commend you for being this vulnerable and honest a out your experiences. Anxiety is one of the stressful situations which we all experience at some point in our lives. I think is also an indicator of of underlying fear which we should learn to overcome daily. It’s a daily struggle especially if we want to achieve
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It’s hard when people don’t understand the level of exhaustion that comes from mental health. I hope your post does make those living without a mental health condition be more mindful in their interactions- it’s such an articulate and open post. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you so much.
I’ve often perceived some disbelief from people who don’t understand what I’m going through. I hope people are kinder to others even if they don’t always understand. ❤️
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Compassion goes a long way ❤
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I feel you, I suspect I have some form of social anxiety too but it’s not crippling as some so I feel like most times I can sort of keep it at bay. I do avoid certain situations because I am aware that my anxiety is bound to be heightened in those circumstances! I think it’s courageous of you to shed light on this though – that can be helpful too!
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Thank you, Moksha, for this brave and open post that is relatable to so many. I’ve experienced everything you write about here, and no one ever has any idea. Anxiety under cover (“cualm”) is real. I so appreciate this post and you. Hugs 💜
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