Anxiety. Panic. Me.

I try breathing but my breath gets caught in my throat like my breath is trying to choke me.

I try working out to distract my mind but feel myself tearing up a few minutes in.

I get ready to step out to get fresh air and feel the panic rising instantly forcing me back to the safety of my bed.

I try sleeping but wake up a few minutes in, panicked, scared and even more tired.

I try talking to a friend only to feel my words clamming up in my mouth.

I try screaming but nothing comes out of my mouth.

I try talking to my therapist but cancel my appointment last minute in total panic.

So I vegetate. Watching re-runs of Modern Family. Binge eating. Waiting for the palpitations in my heart to calm themselves down.

Anxiety.

Panic.

Me.

Note 1: I haven’t kept up with comments in my previous posts because I’ve been too anxious. I’ll get to them soon. Thank you for commenting and understanding me always. ❤️

Note 2: If you also have bouts of anxiety, sending happy thoughts your way.

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Aahna Yadav says:

    Very deep lines. True for many. Overcoming pain and moving on sometimes gets very tough, but we have to do it anyway, right?
    Reminded me of the song ‘Believer’.
    “Pain
    You made me a, you made me a
    Believer-2”

    Stay blessed!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ella says:

    Hope you get better soon.

    Like

  3. utahan15 says:

    jive shuck hive freak me freak you

    Like

  4. Hugs!! I can totally relate. Sometimes I shake so badly and no amount of trying to get warm helps

    Like

  5. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    I understand those feelings! You’ve got this!

    When those feeling start to bubble up inside of me, I focus on my breathing and speaking reassuringly to myself. I remind myself that the universe has my back and is working something out for me. When those naughty negative thoughts try to insert themselves, I remind them that they’re not real, that they’re my past fears trying to scare me.

    Breathe! it’s going to be okay, for the universe has awesome things lined up for you!!

    Like

  6. This sounds torture, M, I’m so sorry. Do what you gotta do, you’ll get through. And we’ll be here waiting for you when you’re ready!!!! 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hugs, Moksha 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You are strong, remember that!!
    Stay strong, keep shining and don’t forget to smile.

    Like

  9. petespringerauthor says:

    Sharing your struggles may help someone else going through their own challenges. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now.

    Like

  10. yuenct says:

    I personally suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for a few years now and totally understand the struggle :/

    Like

  11. Hope you come back stronger soon. I lovee you.

    Like

  12. Juliette says:

    I am sorry to hear that this is how you feel, and I hope you will soon feel better. In moments like these being gentle with yourself is key, so don’t feel bad or guilty for not being in here too much! Take care ❤️

    Like

  13. bosssybabe says:

    anxiety can be a scary thing… especially if you don’t know you have it or don’t know how to deal with it… I always just focus on getting through each minute (second even, if I have to). And not all distractions are bad… … I get it… take care of yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you! ❤

      I so wish I didn't have to deal with anxiety.

      Liked by 1 person

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