I had a whole other post scheduled to be posted today but I needed to vent about a bad date I went on recently (read as: last night). I understand that not all dates amount to something and I only ever write about really bad dates or really good dates – cause the ones in the middle are basically just two incompatible yet nice people meeting and having one meal together. So I matched with this guy a few weeks back and while we didn’t chat a lot (cause of his busy work schedule and my bad mental health these past few weeks), our limited interaction was interesting enough for me to be excited about meeting him. Literally 5 minutes into the date, he called me “weird” and had me tearing up because I confessed that I end up cancelling a lot of plans because I am lazy and have social anxiety. I only spent an hour with him but it made me realize that we were SO SO badly mismatched and that he was everything that I didn’t want in a man. I did a post on what I want in a man and it only seemed fitting to do one on what I don’t want in a man courtesy last night’s date.
So what do I not want in a man?
- Ego – I really can’t stand an egoistic man who finds it hard to admit when they are wrong.
- Mansplaining – I’ve literally never experienced mansplaining before last night. I asked him some legit questions about his work (mainly to keep the conversation going) and he got on his high horse and started mansplaining stuff that I already knew (he knew I had an MBA degree). I finally had to cut him short to let him know that I knew what he was explaining and that my question was something else. ARGH!
- Showing off – I can’t stand people who drop brand names or celeb names just cause they think it makes them sound very fancy or high class or just cool. It makes me lose all respect for them.
- Not respectful of someone else’s viewpoints – At the beginning of the date last night, I mentioned how I’m trying to be vegan for the environment and he immediately tried to disprove that my being vegan will do nothing. ARGHH.
- Being condescending – I met him for a date in a cafe that was 2.5kms from my place. If it hadn’t been THAT hot, I would have walked to the cafe but instead, I hopped into an autorickshaw (you may know it as a tuk-tuk) to get there. I also planned to take one to get back home after. He gave me so much grief about taking an auto and insisted that I take an Uber. He was downright condescending about it.
- Not checking if I reached back home safe – Honestly, no matter how bad a date has been, every single guy I’ve met has either dropped me home or checked up later to make sure I got home okay. This guy half-heartedly offered to drop me off first in his cab – which I declined because our homes were in opposite directions. He then insisted I take an Uber home because it is safer and then didn’t even bother to check if I reached home.
- Not letting me be me – I love me. It has taken me a long time to accept myself and love myself but I finally do. Obviously, I could improve on some shortcomings but I mean I love how quirky and authentic I am. This date was SO judgemental about everything about me. I have recently started doing these 10km walks with a friend over the weekend – he was judgemental about that. I told him I like exploring monuments – judgement. I told him I don’t like crowded places – judgement. I could feel his eyes roll completely back into his stupid eye socket probably all the way up to his oversized brain (ARGHHHHHHHHHH).
- Being full of themselves – This man could keep talking about himself and his thoughts and his life and his job and his friends. He loved the sound of his own voice. We discussed how we both aren’t big on children and there happened to be some children running around the cafe right then. And he really loudly called them “annoying”, within their parents’ earshot -and as much as I may think something like that – I’d never say it out ALOUD cause why be rude to random people?
I ordered fries on the date and couldn’t finish eating even half but felt so awkward (and judged) that I didn’t even get them packed to take home. ARGHHH X 10!!! I was so annoyed and sad last night. I honestly feel much better after venting in this post! Although I still feel sad that I’m nowhere close to finding my “lebenslangerschicksalsschatz“. Where is he?!? 😦
Share some words of wisdom to keep me going on my quest to find love.
PS: He wasn’t a bad guy we were just hugely incompatible and I’m sure he didn’t have a good time either and is probably bitching about me with his friends.
If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts –