I’ve been an old school romantic since I was a teenager. I dreamt of a knight in shining armour sweeping me off my feet and “completing” me. I swooned while watching over the top proposals in movies and cried for days while reading romantic books like The Notebook and PS: I Love You. But over the past few years, I’ve become a more practical romantic. I still yearn for love to make my hear skip beats but with conditions applied. Here are some things that I used to find romantic but don’t anymore –
1. Asking a man to choose me over another woman – I remember watching Meredith Grey’s speech in Grey’s Anatomy – asking McDreamy to pick her over his estranged wife. I had goose bumps just thinking about how romantic that gesture and speech was. But now – oh God NO. I recently re-watched that scene and cringed. If I need to beg a guy to choose me over another girl – how healthy can that relationship even be. If he is confused between two women – clearly he doesn’t like either enough to be with them.
2. Airport proposals that stop the girl from pursuing her dream – I hate how romanticized it was to give up your dreams and your career for your love. Funnily in all the 90s and early 00s rom-coms, the woman was expected to give up her dreams for love. I used to swoon over the idea that a guy would chase me through the airport and stop me from pursuing my dreams in a place far away from him. But now I think it’s important to have your own separate fulfilling lives and that one dream (the dream of love) isn’t more important than another (the dream of a career). Also, communication and travel has gotten much easier now.
3. Big fat weddings – I’m not exaggerating but I planned out my big fat wedding when I was 13. I always thought that a huge wedding was romantic – letting people revel in our love. But now I find the idea of a small wedding with just 30-40 close family and friends, more romantic as well as fun.
4. Giving a man who stomped on your heart another chance – As a teen, I used to think it was so romantic when a guy felt remorse for breaking the girl’s heart and gets another chance with her. It’s not romantic for a guy to break your heart and then come back to you. If he’s gone, let him go – close the door and move on. Pursuing him and winning him back doesn’t really seem like a win anymore.
I’ve changed a lot over the past few years – I’ve become more practical and also learnt to put myself first which has led to me not finding these things romantic anymore. What do you not find romantic anymore? What popular trope from books/movies do you think is dated?
I honestly think you should read my other recent posts as well–