Why Am I Like This?

Have you ever been in a situation and thought to yourself – why am I like this? As an adult, I assumed I wouldn’t be in such situations that often. But I happen to be in such situations so often that I decided to do a whole post about it.

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

1. Being a poor judge of character – you’d think with my experiences, I’d be better at judging people but I still mess up all the time. Eg: all the men I meet for dates. I am super selective about meeting a man and take weeks (at least 4-5 weeks) of talking to be convinced enough to meet. Yet, I end up meeting some really narcissistic men. How am I not able to read people better?

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

2. Tearing up when things don’t go my way – yes, I’m a 31-year-old crybaby. Whenever I’m in a difficult situation my immediate reaction is to start tearing up. Eg: At the festival, my brand was a part of, the first afternoon we hadn’t made a lot of sales whereas the stall next to ours that was selling fake branded jewellery was making crazy sales. I started panicking and tearing up. I mean literally tearing up. Once I had calmed down, I felt SO stupid. What sort of an adult am I?

3. Still not understanding PMS signs – I’ve been PMS-ing for 17 years now, how do I still miss out on signs? I usually have a major breakdown 2 nights before my cycle starts. 80% of the time I’m able to recognize that I’m being irrational and that it’s probably linked to my messed-up hormones. But I still miss recognizing the signs about 20% time. This last time, I had a meltdown and fought with a friend and BLOCKED him – only to realize two days later that I was just PMS-ing. *Facepalm*

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

4. Getting stressed out about interacting with my assistant – If you know me even a little, you probably know that I’m an introvert with social anxiety. While I hired an assistant to make running my business easier but talking and dealing with her has me SO stressed out. Thankfully she’s an introvert too, which makes our “quiet” time not that awkward. But I still feel so much anxiety being around her and figuring out our interaction style. How have I been allowed to adult? I’m so not cut out for adulting.

5. Getting overwhelmed while replying to comments on my posts – People have brought it to my attention multiple times that I don’t always get around to replying to all the comments I get on my posts. I read every single comment as soon as I get the notification and genuinely feel so happy to get the comment but I often get too overwhelmed to reply to every comment. It is a weird paradox – when I don’t get comments on my posts I feel sad. I am always in awe of bloggers who reply to the 100s of comments they get on their posts (eg: Pooja – how do you do it!?!).

What are some situations you find yourself in which make you go “why am I like this”?

PS: I’ve been too exhausted to stick to my posting schedule but I’ll be back on top of my blogging game from next week. Thank you for your kind words and patience always.

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts –

55 Comments Add yours

  1. Storyteller says:

    Hey at least you are aware of these things hey. Some of us are still kicking ourselves in our 40โ€™s. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

    1. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜..same here…

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Happy Panda says:

      haha..glad to know I’m not the only one ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Jas krish says:

    Every person is a mix of good and not so good habits. It is not easy to know the true nature of anyone even after prolonged telephonic conversations/ chats so do not blame yourself for it. At times it just takes one meeting to see the truth and that draws a loud response ( How could I be fooled?). Yes, breakdowns or meltdowns you got to work on. A fake doing better than original hurts but then you are not competing in the same space. People go for looks instead of the mind. Instant gratification at low cost is what most want.
    You should pat your back that you realise your shortcomings. Agreed, that does not still gives you the license to behave the way you may be at times. Do not be harsh on yourself, do not overthink . Do not worry too much about ‘ Why am I like this?’ , ‘ What is going to happen?’Staying cool is what you need.
    Look at what’s good with you…the courage to go your way, courage to stand on your own two feet, courage to accept a weakness. This courage will give you the strength to better your weakness.
    Stay blessed always….

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you for your kind words always! Just some days…it is hard to believe that I am an actual adult! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

      1. Jas krish says:

        ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ™We all have our ‘ was that me?’ moments. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

        Like

  3. Because life is happening no matter if we’re ready or not! But donโ€™t worry and try to enjoy the small things that makes you happy everyday!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Yesss, true that! I hope to adult better with time. *fingers crossed*

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wonani says:

    The third one!! Just yesterday I cried about something that someone said that wasnโ€™t at all tear worthy.
    When I was done crying, I remembered it was almost that time of the month.

    Thereโ€™s no getting used to this. Idk why. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      RIGHT?!?? So I track my cycle pretty diligently and yet I miss out on PMS signs all the time. And after I’m like… OOOOOHHH! I really thought it would get better with age. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

  5. Deepthy says:

    Aw I relate so hard to this. But I also prefer this state of knowing and awareness to being clueless about myself, if that make sense ๐Ÿ˜‚ This was a lovely write, thoughtful and thought-provoking. And that features image is so beautiful, I think I’d like to draw it one day ๐Ÿคบ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Yeah – it does. I mean in a world where everyone is trying to show how perfect they are and their life is, this cluelessness makes me feel more real. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Ooooh – I’d love to see it if you recreate it. I LOVED IT as soon as I saw it on Canva.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Deepthy says:

        I actually never thought of it that way. Thanks for the new perspective!

        Aw thank you! I can see why; it’s so peaceful!

        Like

  6. I’m 62 and still asking myself this question. I believe self-acceptance is the answer. I’m working on that. Hugs to you.๐Ÿ’œ

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Hahha, glad to know I’m not the only one cause sometimes I see people doing things with perfection and I wonder if I’m the only adult not adulting well. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

  7. utahan15 says:

    all the friggin time my dear

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Hahha, glad to know I’m not the only one!!!

      Like

      1. utahan15 says:

        mick jagger assured us both in 1982 that this was indeed literally the case.

        Like

  8. thefiftyedit says:

    Don’t fret over #2. I’ve been tearing up at the gym lately, and I’m 50. Still don’t have it together. LOL

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Oh no – whats making you tear up at the gym?
      Most adults make it look like they are adulting at the highest level and make me feel like an imposter for not having it all together. But I’m relieved to know that I’m not alone!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thefiftyedit says:

        I just felt like I could have been at a better place physically. I felt like I should be lifting heavier but am still at light weights (compared to others in the gym). I feel like I put a lot of effort in and my results aren’t where I want them to be. I felt old and ugly. My excessive hair loss isn’t helping. It’s kind of hard to explain. I try so hard to not compare myself to others that seem to have it together, but it was a rough week for me.

        You are not alone, that’s for sure.

        Like

  9. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    *GASP* while clutching pearls: “What? Please don’t tell me you’re a real-life hooman! Oh wait, yes, that’s a good thing!”

    LOL! Girl, I wish I had it all under control and figured out at 60! Give yourself a big old hug!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      So relieved to read everyone’s comments and know that I’m not alone. Most adults are so put together that it makes me feel like an imposter for not adulting at max level. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

        No worries! Really! The things you’re learning will apprar amazingly put together for someone coming up behind you. Your self awareness is your gift, and by sharing it you’re already helping many people!

        Like

  10. Sending love! I feel that sometimes too

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      โค โค

      Liked by 1 person

      1. โค๏ธโค๏ธ

        Like

  11. petespringerauthor says:

    I don’t think you’d be human if you didn’t occasionally judge yourself harshly. Everyone I know (including me) does it on occasion. The good news is that if there is something we don’t like about ourselves, we can set a goal and possibly change it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      That is true! I’ve definitely become less of a crybaby over the last decade. I remember breaking down in front of my boss at my first job when I realized I had made a huge mistake at work. But now I wait to get to the washroom before letting the tears out. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I always wonder why I allow other people’s actions to upset me so much in relation to my work. Why can’t I just do my job and go home and let the day go!? This is something I really struggle with.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I SO relate – I used to feel like that during my last corporate job. But I think the answer mainly is that we spend A LOT of our time at work and as much as we’d like to stay away from the drama, even as a spectator it can get to you as we don’t work in silos.

      Like

  13. At least you are aware of these spots. Many people go about their entire lives clueless. But go easy on yourself – we all have moments like these!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Haha yes, I am very self-critical (thanks to my very brown parents). But I am working on getting better at accepting what I can’t change. ๐Ÿ™‚
      How have you been?

      Like

  14. You know Iโ€™ve been there with all of these things, as Iโ€™m super sensitive and emotional as well. Definitely no need to beat yourself up about dating mistakes. I think youโ€™re learning so much with each person you date and youโ€™re farther along than you think, even tho I know it doesnโ€™t feel that way. Also, dating is hard, so itโ€™s just how it goes sometimes, definitely not your fault! Also Omg the PMS thing yes! I had SUCH a meltdown last period like sobbing hysterically picking a fight with my twin sister on vacation. I was insanely emotional! Do you keep a menstrual calendar app? That always helps me remember when Iโ€™m hormonal so I can at least warn the people around me. Soooo crazy we have to deal with this right? Itโ€™s such a whacky thing to deal with. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿฅฐ

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I very diligently track my cycle on an app because I be crazy for that one night during PMS…and yet when I’m acting crazy sometimes it is so hard to connect the dots!!! I still don’t get why we can’t just get an easier message from our body telling us we are not preggers!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha I know itโ€™s true Iโ€™m the same way! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

        Like

  15. Pooja G says:

    First of all, you’re not a poor judge of character, people just freaking suck these days. I have been on more crappy dates than I thought possible and I can tell you it’s slim pickins out there.

    I get super overwhelmed with the comments too but the secret is to tell your brain to shut the hell up and keep going. Oh and listening to music in the background! Thanks for the shoutout ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Took your advice and got around to replying to every single comment on this post – yayay! ๐Ÿ˜€

      I’ve given up on dating only!!! My knight in shining armour needs to find me during one of my rare outings!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Pooja G says:

        Omg yay that’s awesome!

        Haha same here. He can find me I’m done looking ๐Ÿ˜‚

        Like

  16. Francochuks says:

    Thanks for reminding me.
    Characters differsโค๏ธ

    Like

  17. I’m like that with PMS too. I found it so weird in the COVID-19 lockdowns that my PMS got worse. Then I realized because I like to be on the go a lot that I ignore my PMS signs. Now, I have been more mindful of late

    Like

  18. on-being-human says:

    It sounds like you have great awareness! We’ve all got things we’re still trying to change, but recognizing them is half the battle. ๐Ÿ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  19. bosssybabe says:

    Omg, same! I am the same with the comments… I love all the engagement on my posts and I read every single one right away and approve it to post but I get too bogged down with life and/or anxiety of a never-ending to-do list to ever get to them in a timely manner and then I feel like a terrible bloggger! Eeek

    Like

  20. Muskan says:

    I believe this is the question most of us ask to ourselves.
    Not understanding ourselves is one of the most common ground, and it’s not about age.. it is about being so caught up with your everything that you don’t give time to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Being aware is the first step. You can’t change the hand it to God. You can’t hand it to God till you’re aware of it. Good job sister. Keep it up. We’re on the same page

    Like

  22. Oh, I can relate to you. And I want to change myself. I want to be carefree like a child.

    Like

  23. So relatable!!! I always wonder why Iโ€™m such a pushover and canโ€™t ever stick up for myself! I always think after a situation that I should have been more assertive ๐Ÿ˜’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Saying no asserting yourself or taking good care of yourself. Easier every time. First couple times are hard but girl you got this

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Good to know!! Thank you

        Like

      2. Good luck God’s Speed!!

        Like

  24. Relatable – all soooo relatable. ๐Ÿ’•

    Like

  25. Nat says:

    Number 3 & 4 hit close to home for me. I always feel like such a bitch before my period comes because I go into the “get the f*** away from me” mood where the smallest things irritate me and even someone standing too close to me starts to piss me off. I so relate to number 4 because I’m an introvert with social anxiety as well. I think most people assume all introverts have social anxiety and that everyone with social anxiety is an introvert but they don’t always go hand in hand. Even extroverts can have social anxiety and the ways that social anxiety can manifest for a person aren’t always perceived/recognized by other people as anxiety. I’ve been working at the same job for roughly 8 months now and it can be challenging establishing a comfortable rapport with my coworkers. Especially with coworkers I only see once in a while. But the ones I see more frequently… Ugh, it can be such a hit or miss when I talk to them. Sometimes it goes fine because I’m in an okay mood and the words just flow out of my mouth easily with no hesitation even though I feel mildly anxious about sharing stuff about myself with them and other times it’s like I can barely formulate whole sentences without making them as short as possible due to how intense my anxiety feels and how self-conscious I am of how judgmental I am being of myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Rae Longest says:

    Interesting post, Hon. I’m ready for more…

    Like

  27. BluntPathway says:

    Such a relatable post

    Like

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