Burnt Out

I AM COMPLETELY BURNT OUT.

I’ve been struggling with work, personal life, and keeping up with the blogging world these past few weeks. There has been just too much going on in my life and I’ve finally reached a point of total burnout. A few weeks back I had planned to take a short vacation or staycation to just rejuvenate but bad news struck and I couldn’t. I feel so uninspired and exhausted every morning that I find it difficult to even leave my bed. Today I opened my closet to pick clothes and just had a literal meltdown because I wasn’t able to pick what I wanted to wear. I gave in to all the emotions that I have been running away from these past few weeks and cried into the crazy mess of clothes in my closet. I’ve been feeling guilty for feeling all these emotions because my parents who are dealing with even more have been managing to hold it together and still be productive and here I am crumbling. I hate being this weak.

I need a break. I need to get away from the craziness of my life and just be alone for a few days. I don’t want to worry about work, family, or anything. I just want to be alone in nature to give my brain some time to heal. Right now, I feel like jumping out of an airplane or standing on a cliff and screaming my lungs out. I don’t feel alive…I feel like I’m just going through the motions of daily life.

I know how depressing this post must read. I hate that this burnout is keeping me away from my blog. This space has kept me sane for the last few years but I haven’t felt like adding the pressure of blogging to all that is suffocating me already.

I also don’t feel like talking to anyone about any of this. I have friends reaching out to me every day trying to help me and yet, I keep shutting them out – and I don’t know why. This is why writing about this, here, always helps me feel better. I should just start journaling and save you all the trouble of reading through my sad thoughts but your kind words and advice always help me.

Maybe this post is sounding more depressed than I am – my burnt-out mind is amplifying everything. I just need a break. *SIGH*

Please share the good and positive things happening in your lives to give me hope that something good is going to happen to me soon. Also, if you’d like to help out with guest posts or collaborate on my blog – I’d really appreciate it. (Mail me at: mokshasustainable@gmail.com)

PS: I want to apologize to all my blogging friends whose posts I haven’t been keeping up with. I really hate missing out on all the updates from your life. I also want to thank you for all your kind words that are honestly, helping me more than you know.

PPS: My grandfather hasn’t been doing so well post his treatment. Just dealing with so much emotional distress is making me want to completely shut down.

Show my other recent posts some love –

31 Comments Add yours

  1. Zainab says:

    That’s completely fine – I’m glad you’re able to understand a break is what’s necessary, and hopefully you can come back better than ever! 😆 I’ve just started my summer break so I’ve come back from a trip with my family! Wishing you a great summer! 😆

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Keeping you in my thoughts ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Pooja G says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I know that feeling of being overwhelmed to a point where you can’t function and it really sucks. Take all the time you need and enjoy your break. Don’t worry about anything and focus on making yourself feel better.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sam says:

    Hello Happy Panda:

    You are not your parents. You don’t need to hold it together. (I am assuming your parents have each other. Who do you have?) You don’t need to be on a cliff to scream 🙂 Talk to the friends who are willing to be there for you. (Maybe you are not accepting their help because you feel you should be able to keep it together all on your own. Just a thought!)

    IMPORTANT REMINDER:
    Scream your lungs out wherever you like 🙂 Feel every emotion without apology, accept help, take the time out you know you need and do whatever else you need to feel better. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  5. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    Time to take a mental health break! Take some time to just sleep in, relax and rest! If you MUST do work, try to limit it to 1 to 2 hours at a time, with rests in between. Cocoon. Pamper yourself!

    That’s why people take occasional days to play hookey, to just have a personal day!

    Trying to keep too many plates spinning is really tough on the body, the mind, and the spirit!

    Moving forward, try to determine if there are some things you can reduce the frequency on, delegate out, or place on pause. A shorter work day? Schedule times of rest? This will help you to determine at what levels you are ACTUALLY able to function, vs. the levels you WANT to function at!

    There is no shame in releasing some of the load; the opposite is true, for it takes wisdom to see when things may be on the verge of falling apart and then make course corrections.

    Whatever you decide, it’s okay!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. utahan15 says:

    anything good is cool
    like classic stones
    rolling fiscal bones
    and long times away from
    pope st son tom
    yw

    Liked by 1 person

  7. birdiehope says:

    Give yourself some grace. Do what works best for you and take care of yourself. The blog can wait.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. petespringerauthor says:

    It doesn’t make you weak to feel the way you’re feeling; it makes you human. Life has a funny way of throwing hard and complicated stuff at us at once. I suspect that the tipping point was the extra layer of stress from your grandfather’s situation.

    I’ve been blogging for a little over three years. Sometimes it’s easier to express our feelings in writing to your blogging acquaintances than to your closest friends. I also wouldn’t feel any extra guilt about not reading blogs. People get it—your priority is to take care of yourself. We’ve all been there, and it’s not like people will abandon you because you’re not around for a bit. I advise you to do something fun that you wouldn’t usually have time for. Big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. bosssybabe says:

    Moksha, sorry to hear you’re going through it right now… Burn out is not fun or something to take lightly. The burn only grows deeper and it will take its toll unless you take action. Taking a break is a great start! Wishing you the best and don’t worry about the catching up – that gets to me too… but you have to do what works for your mental stability and your daily survival… right now, it is taking step at a time. Take care of yourself! (I started reading again- my big win this month, as you know my mind has been difficult to distract these days!)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Oh Rue,
    I feel ya!
    Thanks for sharing my friend.
    Be gentle with yourself and pick on thing and just do that.
    Breaks are vital .
    I’m feeling the same too and just cancelled a free vaca in a dream spot but I just need to see this project through and the wedding..
    Hugs and love. 💖💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You are not weak my dear, and I’m glad you’re taking a break. Take all the time you need ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I’m sorry to hear you’re burnt out! But never apologize for taking a break, you are prioritizing yourself and your well-being which is the best thing to do. It shows strength to know your limits and to step back when needed. So you do you. We will all be here when you are ready to come back.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dear Moksha, remember the compassion you feel for friends who are struggling. Give yourself that same compassion. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, without apology. That’s not weakness. It’s self-awareness and self-love. Sending hugs and healing wishes 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hilary Tan says:

    I felt this, and I am sorry that you’re feeling burnt out. Please be easy on yourself – you are doing your best! Don’t worry about showing up for anyone else but yourself 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. esraafathi says:

    It’s okay. My eyes filled with tears while reading this post as I’m suffering from burn out lately. But you know what you’re a hero and we’re all because we are always trying our best. The fact that we’ve gone through a lot and still standing and holding on is powerful.
    And yes you need a break , you need to recharge your soul with nature , sea and thing to makes you feel alive again. I myself will do this soon ❤️

    Like

  16. I’m so sorry. Let yourself rest and take a break. I get that—journaling also helps me feel better. I have been fairly well lately; I like my new job and have a few plans to talk to friends this week.

    Like

  17. So sorry you’re going through this M, I know the feeling. I would love for you to be able to go out into nature and scream, even just for a short time! But if you can’t manage that, then I can just share with you nice things happening in my life, since u said that would make u feel better. Work is going really well even tho I was afraid of my new incoming boss. She’s actually very nice to work with so far. I have a date lined up for Saturday, so we’ll see how that goes. And life is not too terrible at the moment, so there is hope things will turn around girl! They always do 😘

    Like

  18. Amanda says:

    So sorry to hear you are feeling burnt out. You sound like a break is absolutely what is needed. And when you com eback to work you need to schedule in some more me time into your diary, just as you would an appointment with a client.
    I am happy to write a guest post for you if it helps.
    Hugs and rest up!

    Like

  19. You need to remember how strong you are moksha!!
    You have broke several barriers. You have pushed your limits, multiple times in the past. You have achieved all this on your own. So, you will overcome this phase as well. Channelize the amazing potential of your beautiful mind. There’s endless possibilities . 🙂
    Also, power to your grandfather. He will be great soon. 🌟
    Shine ✨

    Like

  20. Silver Stone says:

    Really sorry to hear that you’re going through this phase. Burnout can be extremely exhausting (been there, done that), and it’s never a good place to be. I agree on your decision to take a break, because nothing’s better than stepping back and just……..do nothing and enjoy the simple things. It’s time for some quality me time!

    Yes, journaling is not a bad idea. Why not give it a try? Maybe you’ll start feeling better and keeping yourself occupied. Wishing you all the best! ❤️

    Like

  21. roijoyeux says:

    You should let your friends help you !! … I wish you the best and hope you will be back soon stronger than ever

    Like

  22. Juliette says:

    I’m so sorry to read this, and I hope you will feel a bit better soon. Burn out is something really serious and I really encourage you to seek professional help if you feel like everything is too much… Also if you feel like you need some alone time in nature, go ahead, book yourself another staycation and forget about “keeping up” or being productive, the important thing is that you rest. Sending you lots of love and peace. I’ve had friends go through this and I know how tough it can be!

    Like

  23. Ella says:

    Hang in there. I will say this, having feelings and needing a break doesn’t make you weak, it ,makes you human. Being vulnerable can be scary but try to reach out to the friends and love ones that you feel safe with when you feel ready. It really helps to be reminded that you are not alone and that you are loved. Do a lot of the things that you love and that make you happy. Keep getting out of bed even when it gets hard. Slowly you’ll begin to feel better. Sending you positive thoughts=)

    Like

  24. Deepthy says:

    Oof that sounds really exhausting. I hate that you’re going through it, as inevitable as it is in life, burnouts are plain exhausting and annoying and might I say, burning too.
    I think taking a break is a good idea and just because you process your emotions differently, it’s not a reason to feel guilty about it.
    Please take time and take care of yourself! We’re not going anywhere and will be here whenever you return!

    Like

  25. theteenafey says:

    I am just coming back from an almost year hiatus on my blog. When life tells you to take a break, you have to listen. I turned to some brief meditations to help figure out what was the root cause of my burnout. I was simply investing energy into too many things that didn’t return any of that back to me. I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best!

    – tina
    https://www.teenafey.com

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Hope he gets well soon.

    Like

  27. Just relax your mind and body, most of us experience a burn out once in a while. It happens.

    Like

  28. Being overwhelmed and burnout and realizing you need a break is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of maturity and self-awareness. I hope you are able to get the rest you need!
    As a positive thing-I started my graduate program today at Cornell! Finally back in school after 13 years.

    Like

  29. joyroses13 says:

    Aww! I wish I could give you a big hug! Thanks for reaching out and being honest. Do NOT feel ashamed, you are NOT weak, you are stressed and we all deal with stress differently. I really hope that you can find a way to get away for a little bit. We have to take care of ourselves! Let the tears flow, they are healing. You deserve a break, doesn’t have to be long, but we all need times where we have to recharge!

    Like

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