Self Doubting Adult Woes: 5 Thoughts I Regularly Have

Note: This is a sad post – so if you don’t want to read a sad person’s whining – you can skip it!

I’ve been away from the blogging world for a whole week. Life has been super stressful! With the festive season around the corner – life at my brand has gotten out of hand. I unfortunately also had to let go of my assistant (really poor performing – a story for another post) – so I’m stuck with doing all the work alone. Over the last 2 weeks, my stress levels have slowly gone up to the extent that I had a mini-meltdown today which was also partly caused by my grandfather’s bad health. I’m a MESS. Something I find very hard to admit to those around me, I really don’t know why. So what do I do? Write a post about it in the hopes that putting it out there will make me see that I might be overreacting!

Business Related: I don’t have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur.

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I don’t know how other entreprenuers do it but I have so much self-doubt which is slowly driving me crazy. I’ve always believed in myself and my abilities but now – with running a business on my own – I doubt myself SO much every single day especially because I need to take every single decision. I think it also has to do with people’s expectations that I feel like I’m not able to meet.

Life Related: Why does it seem like everyone has figured out adulting and I’m struggling?

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Every time I meet another adult or see social media – it feels like everyone else has it all figured out and yet, I find myself struggling every single day. Will I ever figure out how to adult? Does it ever get easier?

Blogging Related: Why would anyone want to read about the crazy things that go on in my head?

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Every time I sit down and write a post like this, I wonder why anyone in the world would want to read my rant/whine. I wish my blog was filled with more happier posts but I think I tend to write more sad posts. I don’t write such posts with the hope of getting more views but just as a space to vent and let go of everything that has been bothering me. But overall, I do care about the number of people who read my blog posts – as in I’d want more people to read them.

Self Related: Why am I so unlovable?

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I honestly feel like I have a very unlovable personality and no matter how hard I try to change it – everything else is changeable but the quality of being unlovable remains. And I don’t mean unlovable in the sense of romantic relationship – just generally with family and friends. I don’t know what exactly makes me feel like that – but I feel it all the time. Right now – my grandpa has been going on about how he wishes he could have seen my wedding – and it is really making me feel like shit for not being able to find someone that will love me. I also feel like this every single time one of my committed friends makes me feel like I’m not doing enough to find someone – like how am I supposed to control this!!!??!

Self Related: Why am I so weak?

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I hate that I get stressed so easily, get emotional too easily and break too easily. I hate that I can’t handle things better – everytime things get a little difficult – I start to crumble (like I am right now). I wish I was made of stronger stuff able to withstand more. I’ve been crying and having stress headaches dealing with heightened anxiety while trying to still work and all in all feeling like a miserable loser.

I’m sorry for this depressing post – like I said I just needed to vent out. I hope you’re having a better week than I am! ❤

PS: Happy posts coming soon!

Check out my other non-sad recent posts –

35 Comments Add yours

  1. Ankita Bora says:

    Most of us are struggling, and adulting indeed is difficult! Just remember that you have a beautiful soul.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I feel like you do, Panda. I could go on about it all the time, but I find that talking about it only makes it seem so much worse and I really couldn’t bear that!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Niharika says:

    Now that you have vented out about your faulty side, time to think of your other side, the side that you like and adore. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  4. mylittlehawk says:

    I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been dealing with a lot this year (some of it similar to your situation) and every so often, a switch goes off, and I feel lost, desperate and alone. And that’s when I start picking myself apart. Going through a serious burnout definitely doesn’t help with that. I have no advice to give you, I wish I had, but just know that your feelings are valid, but your anxiety is lying to you! You are lovable, and strong, and you handle everything the best you can! I hope a comment like this one here can show you that, as well! 💖

    Liked by 2 people

  5. jshallett says:

    “Every time I meet another adult or see social media – it feels like everyone else has it all figured out, and yet”
    Remember that people only share what they want you to see, especially on social media. The fact that you are willing to show vulnerability to strangers is a strength that is overlooked. Other people need to see that they can be vulnerable too. And no one has their shit figured out; it’s the human condition. Just as we get to celebrate each other’s achievements, so should we also stand together in compassion for each other’s pain.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Aww I’m sending love and love your honesty. Just be kind to you Ru! Xoxox💕💕💕you’ll feel better soon!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Ally Bean says:

    Good that you were able to understand and explain your woes. Everyone with any sense has them. Treat yourself with care, and keep going. I’d say you’re doing great.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. “Note: This is a sad post – so if you don’t want to read a sad person’s whining – you can skip it!”

    I’m already sad. So it makes no difference. We are two sad person, sharing our thoughts. Let’s start the conversation…🙃😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Read the remaining comment below…

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I feel all of this! I just recently started my own business. It is a huge life and career change for me and I am doing this at 48 years old. I feel like others may look at me and think, “she is crazy!” However, so many friends and family members have said just the opposite. They are so proud of me for taking this step. Adulting is hard but venting and letting our feelings out is all part of the process…you’ve got this!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. ✓ I don’t have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur.

    Everything starts with being confident. No matter who’s “the competitor”. With the decision to do a job or choosing a profession, we need

    1. necessary “realtime data”,
    2. organised operations, and
    3. self-explorative, comprehensive and long time strategies.

    Expectations can be very helpful to find new opportunities, new perspective.

    Hey, took above points as inputs and motivation. Use your own mind, based on your own “intelligence”.

    ✓ Why would anyone want to read about the crazy things that go on in my head?

    Because he or she might be going through similar tough situations.

    ✓ Why am I so unlovable?

    I misread it as “unsolved”. And I’m like, “you’re a human, not a puzzle, my friend”.

    A human loves another human. Take your time. And please find someone for “you”.

    “and it is really making me feel like shit for not being able to find someone that will love me.”

    Am I being able to receive any invitation card? 😃

    ✓ Why am I so weak?

    Probably, This is the question I’m asking to myself. Almost everyday, everytime.

    I was never weak. And I’m not weak.

    Well, dear family and friends, if you put aside your future expectations and dependencies on me.

    The result will, open opportunities, to build the most popular Lokesh Sastya.

    Concluding…

    As I said, I’m sad. I have not missed even a single word of this post. “But I wish to read a little happier posts.”

    Happy Panda, You’re an inspiration, as a person and a blogger. If possible, I might write a post on Indian MSMEs. Stay happy.😊

    Liked by 2 people

  11. utahan15 says:

    we live we learn
    sometimes we get burned

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Liz says:

    I’m not sure I’ve ever been so proud of someone I’ve never met! In a word, you are wonderful! And, you are far stronger than you may feel right now. Being able to articulate your personal reality in the moment actually speaks to your strength. You are honouring your feelings, which is a key part in feeling restored back to balance. You have also gifted all of us with sharing, and you have likely helped another person to be okay with how they’re feeling. Loved your post, love you! Liz

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Deepthy says:

    Excluding the business and life related ones, I’m with you, especially on the blogging one. I hardly think this was depressing – I find this to be a very authentic take on everyday life and I’m so grateful you say it as it is. Please take care and go easy on yourself 💗

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I think all of the other entrepreneurs in the world went through and are going through what you are. Keep at it, and give yourself the credit you deserve 😊Maggie

    Liked by 2 people

  15. LaShelle says:

    First of all, what you see on Facebook/WordPress/socials is typically the best that people have to offer. VERY rarely is it the worst. Secondly, how you feel is valid and you are not alone. We ALL feel this way. I can’t tell you how many times Ibe questioned my decisions, disliked myself, or thought I was messing up. I’m nearing 40 and although I’m trying to get my side hustles in the air… I don’t make that much financially. I’m mostly just a mom with a farm, who holds down the fort at home. Guess what I’ve learned though? Success isn’t about how much money you have… It’s about finding the things in life that fulfill you. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, it doesn’t even matter what you think of yourself. All that matters is that you’re finding fulfillment. Life is too short to spend everyday hating what you do. ❤️🤗

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Pooja G says:

    I have had every one of these thoughts including the business one. You are not alone in feeling this way and I can guarantee you that a lot of people have these thoughts. Unfortunately, downs are a part of life and come with the ups. And the people who seem like they have it all figured out absolutely do not. Trust me. Sending lots of positive vibes your way

    Liked by 2 people

  17. petespringerauthor says:

    I tend to be skeptical of people that try and project an image that everything in their life is perfect. That’s not the way life works! It’s like so-called “reality television,” which is about as far from reality as possible.

    I’ve never run a business, but that must be so demanding since it’s not like you can phone it in when you don’t feel like it. I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but one part of our life naturally affects the other parts. Because you’re a caring person, you’re also sad about your grandfather, and I bet that’s a big part of your feelings too.

    I don’t read posts like this and think poorly of the person. You’re simply expressing your feelings. Blogging is like therapy. It’s better to express your feelings, be it publicly or privately, than to internalize them. Instead, I look at it as a fellow human, wishing I could offer some encouraging words.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. I’m an adult and I am far from having things figured out. I feel you on this. I’m pretty sensitive and break easily in times of crisis. I know it’s cliche, but I always find things get better right after a bad event. The sun will come soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. mailmypublicjournal says:

    That you are able to see yourself and express your vulnerability so freely is a huge achievement that a lot of people can only dream of doing. I can relate to your post so much. I recently started writing, more to help myself, but also want people to read and I keep wondering why the hell would people want to know how my mind plays games with me! Then again, like how I relate to what you’ve written here, I’m sure there are several others who are going through what we are going through, but might not have the awareness to see that they are going through it or be able to openly talk or write about it. Thank you for writing. Sending a lot of positive vibes your way!

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    There are 2 sides to self-doubt: there is of course self-doubt, but the other less recognized side is the self-confidence that isn’t rooted in the correct information.

    Look how many CEOs make Million or even Billion dollar mistakes because their decision led a company down a wrong path. I’m not saying this to discourage you, only to point out that even those with a Master’s in Business Management will mess up because no one owns the crystal ball to foresee with certainty what is the best path to take.

    I believe in intuition and following it, for our subconscious minds can pick up on clues that our logical minds aren’t able to see yet. I know the more I trust my gut, the better my decisions are. I also believe there is a flow to how the universe sets things up, and we attune to it by following our intuition. Intuition without knowing facts is operating blindly, but if we get the facts, then when our intuition kicks in, we can have faith that the universe will help us to work things out, in ways we wouldn’t have thought of.

    How well have you been following your intuition lately? Are you rejecting it in favor of pure logical thinking? How can you get reconnected with it, because that is how our Angels, God, Source, etc. speak to us!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Priti says:

    Beautifully written but I think we all are fighting with our daily life not only you. We need to keep believing that everything will be good. Hope you will feel it quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Anh says:

    Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you for following

      Liked by 1 person

  23. thefiftyedit says:

    It’s okay. You’re entitled to feel how you feel. No apologies needed. To be honest, I think we’re all just a little sad right now, ya know? I know I am. This year hasn’t been the greatest. In fact, the past three years have kinda sucked.

    Like

  24. Nat says:

    This too shall pass. Don’t you worry!

    Like

  25. Pingback: Self Doubting Adult Woes: 5 Thoughts I Regularly Have – BBQDAD Survival Every Day
  26. Hey we are definitely on our way to something amazing I been goin threw it too don’t know what u believe in but what or who ever it is lean on them trust your self in the fact that you were strong enough to have a business u loved enough that you got rid of the Mf that didn’t see ur vision and go all in and got them OUT !!! from where I’m sittin u just had a week common amongst bosses YOU GOT THIS

    Like

  27. Navneet says:

    Social media (especially Instagram and LinkedIn) is nothing but a place of exaggerated success stories and emotions. The world is busy in faking everything, and to be vulnerable and accepting n sharing it takes a toll. This too shall pass, and I’m sure that writing helps, at least feels lighter! Take Care!

    Like

  28. Your amazing beautiful & super encouraging even when your struggling!!! Thank you for putting this out there much love to you today. May you look beyond your challenges for a second and realise what a stunning person you are! ♥️💋

    Like

  29. While I don’t love that we feel this way… it sorta makes me happy to know someone else feels the same. Thanks for sharing ❤️

    Like

  30. bosssybabe says:

    Aww, I’m sorry to see that you’re having a particularly tough time. I have heard entrepreneurship is not easy.. from the outside it looks dreamy and fantastical but from the inside, it’s never-ending pressure, stress and hours! You’re doing the best you can!

    Like

  31. E P Carry says:

    💙💭 .. learning ‘how’ to talk to ourselves better. And the first thing to understand is, that it’s ok to talk to ourselves. Life IS a burden, but loving yourself first, makes the burden just a lil bit lighter. ☮️ There’s peace in there somewhere. Go there more often, breathe, say all the things that are wonderful about you there.

    Like

  32. Entrepreneurship is one of those things that society doesn’t encourage us to do and it ends up being a rather lonely road sometimes. I’m glad you’re really honest about the realities of it, and having read other entrepreneur’s stories, and now going through it myself, I can honestly say, you are not alone ❤

    Like

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