Growing Up or Growing Older?

When you are a kid, every birthday brings with it excitement for the celebration and growing up. Adulthood seems like a hood you’d love to live in. And then you grow up and realize that adulting sucks. And then each birthday brings with itself the dread of growing older and of not having achieved as much as you’d have liked by that age. Existential dread, mid-life crisis, adulting woes, life comparisons, worldly expectations, and the body parts aching – all start weighing you down. While growing up always seemed exciting; growing older just doesn’t.

So I turned a year older.

32!!

While ageing doesn’t really bother me, each birthday reminds me of how I still haven’t accomplished SO many goals that I set out to achieve and that reminder always makes me sad. With a lot of things bogging me down this birthday, I was in no mood to celebrate. However my sister and best friend wanted to do something. This birthday I wanted to just be out in nature and actually be a kid again – so I decided on having a picnic! A few friends and my siblings, went to this beautiful park and set up a picnic with some monuments as a backdrop. We played Cards Against Humanity and literally lost track of time – playing in torch light after it was DARK. And for those few hours, I forgot about all the things that have been weighing me down and just enjoyed a really fun time. Growing older doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a few moments of mirth and kiddish freedom. It was an important reminder for me, to keep the child in me alive and find time to play.

Our setup
My sister and best friend
Nightfall
Heart filled with gratitude

How have you been? Does your birthday excite you or fill you with dread? Also, drop your sunsign in the comments and I’ll do a fun sunsign post in the near future. (I don’t really believe in sunsigns so it will be a funny post!)

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts –

23 Comments Add yours

  1. Rama Arya says:

    Happy happy birthday. โค

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Nehal Jain says:

    Ooooh happiest birthday di!!! I hope you had the most amazing day. And that you manage to productively waste this year too …jk i hope you accomplish your goals ๐Ÿ˜œ. For what it’s worth, nobody does end up getting all their tasks accomplished. Where’s the fun in that?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Hahah! Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Riya says:

    Happy birthday!!

    Like

  4. Niharika says:

    Happy Birthday to Happy Panda! I can understand your feelings about growing older- I too am about to turn 32 next year. I fear losing the inner and outer child to age and deteriorating health. But glad to know you enjoyed your day. ๐Ÿ˜ŠHere’s to many more cheerful and healthy days to you, to me, and to all those Growing Older ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฝ

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wishing you a very happy birthday dii. I happy that you celebrated your birthday. The picnic idea was really good๐Ÿ‘
    I hope you enjoyed๐Ÿ˜Š

    Like

  6. Happy birthday, Moksha! ๐Ÿฅณ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰
    You have gained happiness, memories, learnings, love and much more in the past 32 years.
    When you fail, you try to find โ€˜the way to go aheadโ€™.
    You have opened up a wide world of sharing and caring for yourself.
    I would be happy if you’re able to reflect your โ€œgood deedsโ€ in this comment.
    Thank you so much.๐Ÿ˜Š

    Like

  7. Anshika says:

    Seems like you had an awesome day!! Wishing you good health and happiness.. Happy Birthday, Moksha!!
    Make your early 30’s memorable.Just enjoy each and every phase of your life.
    Also you look so beautiful in that dress!!โค๏ธ

    Like

  8. petespringerauthor says:

    Happy birthday! With age comes more perspective. In a couple of months, I’ll be twice your age at 64. Each day of retirement for me is an opportunity to do all the things I’ve ever wanted to do but never seemed to have time for. I don’t fixate on age, but I have developed an attitude of if not now, when? That mindset seems to help push me forward to try new things without as much fear of falling flat on my face.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Happy birthday! What beautiful photos! I am glad you embraced your birthday! We all have goals or chapters in our lives that we feel like we should have hit already. The beautiful thing with life is that it doesn’t care about your goals. We all have our own journeys and paths we follow and that path we “think” we should be on may not be right for us. We tend to bounce from goal to goal. Enjoy the process. I’m rambling haha ๐Ÿ˜„ happy birthday ๐ŸŽ‰

    Like

  10. Pooja G says:

    Happy birthday! I have the same problem with growing older, I hate having so many goals I haven’t accomplished. Honestly, I thought my life would be different at this age than it is and that sucks. BUT, there’s always hope and we can continue to keep trying to go in the right direction.

    Like

  11. Jay B Hughes says:

    Happy Birthday Happy Panda. Birthdays fill me with dread. Since everyone else forgotโ€ฆ.Gemini!

    Like

  12. Happy belated birthday!!!! ๐Ÿ˜˜ Iโ€™m a Virgo of course ๐Ÿ™‚ and so glad u got to have a beautiful day with loved ones! Every day should have a bit of that ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

    Like

  13. Juliette says:

    Happy birthday!! Seems like you had a wonderful day, and I’m glad you could lose track of time to just enjoy some quality moments wit your sister and best friend! โ˜บ๏ธ I’m never too excited about growing older, but I keep reminding myself that it is a privilege to do so, and it makes all the missed goals feel much better! I guess you’re a libra then? I’m a scorpio! ๐Ÿ˜

    Like

  14. Those pictures are gorgeous and it sounded like a fun time. Happy late birthday!

    Like

  15. bosssybabe says:

    I’m an Aries (a true fiery one!) lol… aw Happy Birthday Moksha! I know you weren’t really living for it but hope you still had a great time! I’ve never been one for birthdays, I really don’t mind celebrating others, I just shy away from the spotlight and I don’t like being reminded (like you) of all the things I’ve yet to do.. but as I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve realized that my mind is always looking backward- wishing I was a year younger or wishing I was 30 again or 35 again; I’d appreciate it so much more (I spent past birthdays wallowing about how fast I was aging) because I’d give anything now to “hate” being 30 again lol

    Like

  16. mterrazas32 says:

    Happy Birthday Moksha!!!

    Like

  17. Happy Birthday Ru! Love all of your goals you have ahead of you. I love the chance to pause on birthdays… for my friends and family and myself.

    Like

  18. LaShelle says:

    I’m 36 and all I can feel is dread over inching closer to 40. I completely understand how you feel my friend. I’m so glad you were surrounded by some of your favorite people and you were able to loose track of time for a bit. Happy belated birthday my friend

    Like

  19. Harshi says:

    Beautiful post and what a beautiful b’day you had! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ

    I love the pics and the fact that you liberated yourself by going with the flow.

    A friend of mine once told me – “Don’t say I haven’t achieved something or done it. Say instead, there still so much to learn!”

    I’m a cusp but have always felt like a Libran and balance is something which I have yet to achieve. Maybe it’s got something to do with my mental age, which is 21๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

  20. Growing up or growing older? That is the question. Thank you ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜Š

    Like

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