Hi T,
According to the Oxford dictionary, ‘farewell’ is used to express good wishes on parting. While parting is difficult in most relationships, it is even more difficult when you part ways with your best friend of 15 years.
We met when we were 12 years old. At that point in time, I never saw us becoming friends. But over the next few years, we became inseparable. In 10th STD, as our classmates obsessed over the board exams, we were both obsessed with the movie ‘Rang De Basanti’. I still remember calling you excitedly, 3 hours before our first board exam to tell you that our favourite RDB song was playing on the radio, only to have your mother answer the phone and tell me to focus on the exam instead. Aaaahh. Simpler times. Happier times.
Over the next decade and a half, we were very rarely in the same city and sometimes our physical distance put distance between our hearts. But we always found a way back to each other. Through the fights and the misunderstandings and the growing up, we were constants in each other’s lives. We always knew we’d end up on that porch together. (Ref: How I Met Your Mother and The Porch Test) Old, crinkly and still bickering but together.
So when you moved out of the country, I worried that the distance might be too much for our friendship. I wish that they’d been false worries. As much as we tried, our life journeys just didn’t align anymore. I was going somewhere else and becoming someone else and so were you. The more I tried to keep our paths aligned, the more I felt alienated from you. And as much as I didn’t want to give up on us, I had to let go because I had been hurting for too long.
It has been a year now and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss you. I messaged you that one random day, telling you that I missed you and the radio silence confirmed that 15 years was all the journey that we had together.
I heard that you were in the city a few days back and even though I knew you wouldn’t, I kept hoping that you’d hit me up. I know I could have done it too but I guess I was looking for a sign. Any sign that our paths were meant to get back together. But instead, I got the sign I needed. The sign telling me that it was time to let go for good.
So here it is – that last goodbye – a farewell – wishing you well in everything you do. Wishing you happiness, love, peace and success.
Goodbye, best friend. You won’t be forgotten.
Love,
M
What is the How I Met Your Mother reference? Lily, Marshall and Ted have been best friends for a long time. Lily imagines them retiring and living together in their old age. So every time Ted dates someone she applies ‘the porch test’ on that girl. Would they all be happy if they ended up on a porch together when they are old?
My two best friends and I also started using this test for the guys we dated. Would he fit in with us when we are old and together on the porch?
This letter was inspired by real-life happenings. I don’t want to share more details. I just wrote this to get closure. Sometimes, things have to fall apart to make way for better things.
PS: I’ve been rewatching ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and have fallen in love with the show all over again.
If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts –
- Things I Haven’t Been Liking About Myself This Year
- February 2023: Reads & Update
- Working Title
- Why Am I Scared?
- January 2023: Monthly Book Reads and Reviews
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Oh M, this is so painful, I can feel it in your words, and I’m so sorry. Ugh life is so hard sometimes, and our heart gets pulled and pushed in so many directions. Sounds like you’re coping with grief in the perfect way. Which is basically just learning to live with the pain. Putting one foot in front of the other even tho it hurts. Big hugs to you, you know I feel you! 💖🌺
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Yes, parting ways whatever the reason be, hurts. Though I have not been personally ever through such a situation but still can imagine. And yes a closure is a must…no use waiting or make someone wait . Well articulated Moksha👌🌹👌God bless you
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I think many of your readers can relate to this feeling, Moksha. (I can.) Most of the time it has nothing to do with us and is more of a symptom of the passing of time and how their life has changed. I can’t help but think of this as I’m about to drive four hours to attend a friend’s decade party. It is a cool tradition and reminds me not to take these special friendships for granted.
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When both one of my best friends and I moved to two different countries we too lost touch and now we no longer speak because she became a person I no longer recognise. It was so difficult but I realised that not everyone is supposed to be in your life forever. My other best friends have kept in touch despite being in different countries multiple times and going through many thing. The people who want to stay in your life will make an effort to do so.
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I agree. Some times we get too caught up on holding on to people that we often don’t take into consideration that our paths may just not be aligned anymore. *Sigh* Adulting brings with itself so much of learning!
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Honestly, no one prepares us enough for adulting 😪
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awww that’s hard but hopefully you will stay connected. 💖
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Hope our paths cross again! ☺️❤️
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Ti e will tell and take care of you!! It’s never easy!!💕💕💕
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Oh it’s so hard and heartbreaking to see friends drift away like that. I hope you could get the closure you wanted by writing it all down. 💖
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Long distance relationships are hard to do at the best of times, even with the proximity that messenger services bring us. I never used to understand why people would cut off communication when I was younger. Now as a retired person and older, I have so many people and things in my life, that it is inevitable that some will be communicated with less frequently and if it all gets too hard, the communication won’t be fun anymore, for them and for us. I tried ti keep a friendship going that wasn’t really for me, just for the other girl’s benefit but she saw through me and cut off communication. The farewell letter is a good way to process those feelings of disappointment when one side wants to continue but the other doesn’t.
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When I was much younger I believed friends were forever. Now, I’m not saying that can’t be, but it’s no guarantee. People also change, which is impossible to predict. I knew of a friend who, after she had her first child, decided to say goodbye to all her single friends. Strange, but true. It wasn’t even a natural fading away kind of thing, it was, nope, I can no longer relate to any of you.
For me, reading your words, it’s the WHY? that I find most difficult, or would find the most challenging. Perhaps answers will arrive in the future, perhaps not, in either case, it’s good to let go so that you can be free — life’s too short!
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Ah this is heart breaking
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😞
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That’s a beautiful letter. As someone who has lived in a few different countries, I know the struggle of maintaining friendships. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn’t
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This is a sad reality I can relate to – things do fall apart for no reason at all other than time, and perhpas growth in our own way. I keep hoping to connect back in this lifetime and wish the same for you too.
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So sorry you’re going through this. I’ve lost friends before but it was a gradual process.. some of them we just don’t talk anymore and others, there exists a huge elephant in the room but we move forward as if we’ve never been best friends before… it can be painful but I tend to believe that with all relationships there are ebbs and flows and sadly some just fizzle out.. wishing you the best, Moksha! 🙂 Beautiful views!
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I am so sorry! Losing friends is hard. I hope in time the happy memories of the past can bring comfort. Some people are just meant to be in our lives for a season, but even though we know that, it still hurts. (((Hugs)))
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❤️
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