Things I Feel Guilty Doing

I don’t know how to start explaining this post. An extremely frustrating call with an Amazon seller support personnel triggered it. If you read my rant post, I had mentioned about how customers try cheating sellers and Amazon refunds the complete money to the customer without a second thought and then charges us for delivery of the items and the items cost. After raising a request they do refund the item cost but still charge us for delivery meaning that overall we end up losing money. Despite explaining this to seller support personnel he kept telling me the same rules again and again and I finally gave him a piece of mind and hung up. And then I sat feeling extremely guilty for yelling at him. 😦

Photo by Eternal Happiness on Pexels.com

Here are some things that make me feel guilty –

  1. Yelling at customer service – I am always the most polite person with customer service people because I know that they are just trying to their best but with my business – I have had some days when I have yelled at customer service people out of frustration and I feel so so guilty. I know they have to follow the rules set out for them but frustration and days of inaction gets me so riled up and I always regret it after.
  2. Being rude to my mom – As an adult, I wish I controlled the things I say to my mum – but I often take her for granted and end up saying some rude things to her when I am tired or off mood. I really wish I didn’t do it and am trying to change this behaviour.
  3. Binge eating- I have dealt with binge eating issues all my life and I worked on it over the past few years and improved a lot. But over the past year I have slipped a little and when my anxiety gets unbearable, I often look towards food for comfort and then feel SO SO guilty after.
  4. Procrastinating – I just can’t stop procrastinating, to the extent that I procrastinate on making my daily to-do as well. I feel so guilty after half the day is gone and I haven’t achieved much.
  5. Sleeping late – I love waking up early and I hate when I stay up late watching some random content on Netflix. I wake up late feeling so so guilty.
  6. Ending relationships that start becoming toxic -I’ve finally learnt to set boundaries but it still makes me feel guilty when I cut off from toxic people. I have in the past year cut off from even old friends when those relationships started to get toxic but whenever their thought crosses my mind – I feel extremely guilty.
  7. Being rude when people give me advice – I know people mean well when they advice others about things but sometimes the advice is so half assed that you can tell they are only saying it to seem superior or put you down more than to help you. I don’t mean to hurt anyone but I have gotten some half assed advice on here too and it really irritates me especially about mental health related issues or eating related issues. ‘Just don’t eat’, ‘just lose weight and you’ll be pretty’, ‘just relax’, ‘you think that is a problem? My problems are so much bigger’, ‘just settle – you have too high standards’, ‘just get married already’ – these kind of advices just piss me off and I end up being rude and later regret it.
  8. Ignoring comments on here that say “check out my profile” – I love discovering new bloggers, I’ve found so many friends in this blogging community because they interacted on my content and made me feel like checking out their content. Eg: Sam interacted with me on a couple of my posts and those discussions made me want to check out her content and I fell in love with her blog. But some bloggers JUST leave links to their blogs in the comments and I honestly have no reason to check them out. I do feel guilty blatantly ignoring them but I find no motivation to go check their content out.

I hate being rude to anyone (I like being sarcastically mean though) and it always happens at these instances and I regret it instantly. Like as soon as I say something rude to anyone – there is gnawing feeling in my heart and I can’t stop thinking about it. 😦

How is your Monday looking? To clear my conscious of its guilt, I am going to give a compliment to every single person who comments, in the hopes that you will pass it on and make someone else’s Monday brighter. ❤

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45 Comments Add yours

  1. Saumya B says:

    Sometimes I can’t tell everything to my mother and if I’m down, i end up being rude with her. And I can’t even tell her what’s going on.
    Even if you become rude sometimes, you at least accept that mistake. You feel guilty about it, you regret it. And sometimes that’s all people need! Everyone becomes rude at some point of their life but only few agree that they do. You did that and you should be happy 😉
    Amazing post 🌈

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Yup, now I am going to try and control the things I say to my mum, when I am annoyed. Thank you so much for making me feel better. Really really love your positive attitude! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Saumya B says:

        Omg thank you so much 💟

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve set some tight boundaries for myself when it comes to relationships. When I see that it’s no longer serving it’s purpose, I’m not afraid to let it go. It was a bit of a challenge in the past but I’m glad now I’ve grown and I know what I want. I’m not rude when I end it though😂😂😂😂

    My Monday is very chilly and I have loads of work to do. I’m on a heater with a big blanket but I’m busy working❤

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I just slowly cut off from people but IDK I do think about them sometimes and feel bad for cutting off. :/ But I guess self care over everything else! 🙂

      Ooohh I miss winters!!!! I hope you have a nice, cosy day! Love you! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Oy yeah these are no fun, especially #6 I can relate to. I feel guilty still even after years of letting a friend go. But then I think about would I still want them in my life now, and I always feel the answer is no. Like ok, I did the right thing. But yup still feel guilty. For #7 omg I can’t believe people say such terrible things to u WTF?!?! I love this post, your honesty opens my heart ♥️ honestly, you’re the best! xo

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I KNOWWW! There was this really good friend who was in this abusive relationship – and after trying to help her get out if it – I realized that she wasn’t going to do it and instead kept inflicting wounds from her relationship onto me. So I cut off – but still feel SO SO guilty about it.
      IKR? Like so many people give the most daft advice and I wish we could put filters on people!

      Thank you so much! Your comments always make writing my posts more special! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ugh that sounds rough. And sounds like you did the right thing. I don’t really wanna have people in my circle who put up with abuse. I want people who I can learn from and be inspired by. But it’s so sad. Like, why can’t you get it together so we can stay friends?!?! Yes, I feel alllll that gurrrrlll 💖🦋

        Liked by 3 people

  4. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    That’s quite a long list st of things to feel guilty about!

    I have learned to try to separate the things I genuinely did something wrong from the things I did my very best but still fell short.

    The second list are the things I work on not feeling guilty about because that’s needlessly beating myself up! Instead I work on flipping the script and saying gentle and kind things to myself.

    That has been helping me with other self sabotaging behaviors. I used to swing between self starving and binge eating. My negative self talk triggered this.

    Yes, I had some very stressful things going on in my life, but honestly my negative self talk pushed me over the edge with anxiety, depression and coping behaviors. When I slowly practiced learning to speak gently to myself, these gradually diminished.

    Speaking rudely to your mom is a type of negative coping behavior. Here’s a thought: Are you subconsciously expecting her to speak the kind reassuring things you can say to yourself? She isn’t letting you down, she is setting boundaries now that you are an adult and able to do for yourself so she doesn’t have to do this for you?

    Procrastination is rooted in our fears of failure. When you practice speaking gently to yourself you may find that you are removing the stimulus to procrastinate. If you are tour worst judge, fearing failure and then your own inner wrath can stop you from wanting to try to do more!

    Given Amazon’s rules and how it affects your bottom line, are there other methods you can explore to increase sales and reduce the negatives financials? Getting chain stores to carry your products? Etc.

    Wishing you all the best my dear! You’ve got this!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I really really want to meet you some day and talk to you in person – I have so much to learn from you.

      I know I am sometimes unnecessarily harsh with myself but I guess I was brought up in that sort of a way and I am still learning how to change that. 🙂

      I agree about the procrastination bit – I am scared of doing things and scared of the results, so I keep postponing those things. The funny part is when I finally do them – those things turn out to be totally doable.

      I’ve started selling on my own website now but Amazon is a great way to market my brand (since it is super new) – hence still listed a few products on there. 🙂

      Your comments always amaze me because you always figure my thoughts out. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

        I’ve had that gift for many years to the chagrin of some people! Seeing the truth behind the apparent truth, not everyone has appreciated it like you do!

        It would be a wonderful gift to sit together someday to talk!

        Keep remembering the successes you have and that you’re totally capable of doing something else! I keep giving myself pep talks! They’re totally necessary and great motivators! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Even i feel guilty for Procrastinating but I just can’t stop it..
    My monday is not going well so far, got my first jab today and now I’m feeling sick.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Ohhh, I hope you are feeling better now! I got my second jab yesterday and feel so so relieved now! Towards a safer tomorrow!!! ❤

      Procrastination is a disease. 😦

      I love your look! It is so bold and so cool!!! Is your hair growing back thicker?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you ❤️…Thickness seems to be the same but I’m happy that I don’t have bald patches on my scalp anymore!!.. Thankyou for asking.

        Like

  6. KK says:

    Sometimes outbursts are impulsive, a spur-of-the-moment reaction. It happens with everybody, but it’s better to realise and rectify.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thats true – I have these momentary lapses and then feel SO SO guilty after – working to improve on it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I think half the world would be doing what you are doing 😀 So you may go easy on yourself 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Yeah – but I wish every one was kinder to one another and that I was kinder – so trying to work on that. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I procastinate a lot and I always regret about them later. I think we have all been where you have been when it comes to these things. I have been rude to my mom before when I was younger but I am trying to be better these days. Although Letting go of toxic people is something I still struggle with. You don’t realise your relationship is toxic until years have gone by and you have already become used to that person and I guess it’s tough because of that reason. But I am working on it. So don’t feel guilty about that. Letting go of toxic people is a hard earned quality that i want for myself and I am trying my best to learn it☺

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Jas krish says:

    Yes, most of us would have been guilty of taking our parents fir granted and if procrastination. But, yes it is always better to explain anger than to express it , that too violently .
    Stay blessed always..
    🙏🌹🙏

    Liked by 2 people

  10. henhouselady says:

    Great list. I think we can all relate. I used to do a job that was heavy into customer service. Every day was a bad day. I know what you mean about feeling guilty when you ignore links people want you to click on. I think most things we do impulsively we regret later.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Brittany P says:

    I’m so guilty of sleeping in late today 😦 I’m supposed to practice getting up early for the coming school year, but nope! I just feel so lazy sometimes for sleeping in and can be kinda hard on myself about it

    Liked by 1 person

  12. AP2 says:

    Guilt is normal – a recognition that we didn’t live up to our values. Shame, however is a bigger issue – that’s when we take guilt to mean there is something wrong with us, instead of simply acknowledging the fact that we are fallible human beings. (being being the operative word. We are natural born procrastinators. Constantly doing all the time is the unnatural thing. Keep that in mind. Also, no need to feel guilt about not visiting people who ask you to visit their blogs. We can’t visit everyones – its not possible.) Wishing you well Panada

    Liked by 3 people

  13. We all have bad days. I remember days when I have yelled at customer service too. I blatantly ignore people who just leave links in my posts without even reading or mentioning word about my post. And I don’t feel guilty about it at all. There is a difference between interacting genuinely and doing it just so that they can ask someone to check out their blog.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. samsahana says:

      I second you on that. Though that has never happened to me personally, I can imagine how frustrating that would feel. You put your time, effort and energy into creating beautiful posts only for people to promote themselves in the comments. I’m sure this happens to you since you happen to be a rather “popular” blogger in terms of your follower count. I’ve seen such links left around in the comments section of bloggers with 1000+ followers. Though it’s not wrong, that’s certainly not what someone would want to see in the comments section of their post.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. True, Sahana. It’s very frustrating indeed. This happens a lot, almost every day. I thought I’ll do a rant about it but it won’t do me any good. So these days, I banish such comments to spam and put it out of my mind. It’s not something you want to see after spending a lot of time and effort to create a post. There is nothing wrong in promoting yourself if it’s a blog party or a promotion post. I think leaving comments on anything other than that does more harm than good. Thanks for understanding.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I can totally relate to this. I also feel guilty about procrastinating, binge eating and cutting people out of my life. The thing I most feel guilty about is setting boundaries and prioritising myself and my sanity.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. samsahana says:

    Why do I relate with every.one.of.these?! You’re such a mood! 😄 Pandemic has got me into a vicious binge eating ritual. I also yell at people too much and fret over it later. Taking mom for granted- in my case, that extends to grandmother too 🙄
    Thanks a lot for tagging me here! Means a lot to me coming from you since you are a blogger I respect, learn from and relate to very much. So thanks! 😁☺️🙏
    PS: I’d say, don’t actually feel bad about binge eating 😅 It’s a therapy on its own 😉
    Thanks for sharing a honest, relatable post! ☺️🤍🤍

    Like

  16. Megan says:

    I relate a little too hard to this post lol, #7 especially. I think it’s the stubbornness in me but, when people try and tell me what to do or how to improve in certain areas of life I get so frustrated. Life’s not a one size fits all and I’ll figure it out on my own!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. These are all such valid points, I can’t agree more with sleeping in late feel like the rest of my day is so much by the time I get up but it’s not always easy to get up early especially when you are in that cycle!

    Like

  18. tanvibytes says:

    Some of these things I feel guilty about too. I totally related to the procrastination one. I do it with the smallest, most silly things. XD The worst part about it is that I end up thinking about it the whole day afterwards! It would be so much simpler if I never put it off 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Hey hey! I completely get all of these guilty feelings. Being rude to my parents and being rude to my siblings is something I can’t help but end up feeling really guilty about after (more with my parents than siblings). I am guilty of all the same things as you but just know you also do so much good and sometimes we can’t help those things, but the fact that you realise it and try to make it right afterwards in the best way you can is what is truly important. You are an awesome person! Great post and lots of love 🥰💗✨

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Ib says:

    Everything you said is totally relatable. I hate being rude to my mum as well but sometimes she just can’t tell when I’m not in the mood. Sigh… anyways, amazing post! Enjoyed it!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Another thing about #1, I feel guilty if someone else is yelling at customer service and I say nothing about it. Even though it’s none of my business, I know that people serving customers can’t really stand up for themselves without the risk of losing their job. I have no problem telling someone if they’re being rude.

    Like

  22. If there is one thing that I achieved this year it is becoming guilt free. If I yell at someone out of my own frustration I would acknowledge it to myself, and work at taking care of myself better so I don’t get riled up. But so many other instances you mention like distancing toxic relations, shutting down unsolicited advice, ignore bloggers who blatantly expect attention without engaging with me – I have become unapologetic, no regrets about making choices that work for my sanity and wellbeing. I will respect and be kind, and also set the same standards for how I should be treated.

    Like

  23. Feeling some guilt is good. It shows you value your relationships and the feelings of others. Guilt shouldn’t stop you from making positive changes like ending toxic relationships.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Sixth point is so so relatable! I’m in a constant confusion to feel guilty or proud to have distanced myself from people who take me granted. When such thoughts strikes, I lose control on myself! 😫

    I procrastinate A LOT. I sometimes be rude to Dad when I’m irritated. If I’m gonna act the same with my mom, she’ll throw me out. 🤧

    Like

  25. Wonani says:

    Sometimes, I regret conversations I had in the past. There are some things I think I could have said better, I regret some words I used, I regret leaving out certain things, etc. I just regret a good number of conversations, it should be worrying. 😂

    Granted, we do act on a whim sometimes but there is always space between an action and our response. No matter how tiny, it is always there. I hope we can be more conscious of it and be kind overall. It’s definitely something I need to work on.

    Also, the blog comments with links. I usually just delete them and I know that is rude but I think people could go around that better. I’m 100% more likely to check out your blog when you leave a genuine comment than when you leave a comment with a link to your blog. 😭

    This was a nice read.

    Like

  26. Lokesh Sastya says:

    Hello Moksha,

    This is the biggest gift from me or the biggest help I can do for you.

    An inspiring story of a 19 year old Delhi blogger. Please visit her: https://blabberblah.wordpress.com

    I wish you read her every post.

    Like

  27. kittysverses says:

    Most of the points here are relatable, especially getting angry on mother part. You have articulated your thoughts well. 🙂

    Like

  28. Ayushi Gupta says:

    ending the relationship point was so really true…u think hard..decide..n finaally after a lot of self struggle u end things..but later on the flashbacks…others story and picture often remind u of those ppl…although u know wht u did was ri8 but..still we are forced to doubt our desicions..rethink and feel guilty!!…but i think that this too is important..atleast this ensure u that what reason made u to be friends with them at the firsr place!!
    anyway guilt is a heavy weight!..try weight lifting with dumbles!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Anupama R says:

    Sorry beautifully written! I relate to some of these – the support service calls, cutting toxic people out of my life and feeling guilty about waking up late.

    Like

  30. Nehal Jain says:

    Even as a teenager, I can relate so much to the second point 😨. And when I feel like my friendships are becoming toxic, what I do is I don’t end them, I try to make sure we’re still friends. But if someone hurts me bad, then I just stop being totally open with them even after the fights and stuff is resolved. I still talk and have fun with them but I don’t “open up” anymore. But it hurts me that they can’t guess what I’m feeling….I know it’s a silly thing but well 😅

    Like

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