I’ve been rewatching ‘How I Met Your Mother’ over the past few weeks. I first started watching it almost a decade back, as a single 20-year-old, wondering why Ted wasn’t just able to find love when it was the one thing he wanted so bad. As much as I related to his dating fails, I hoped I wouldn’t have to wait as long as he to find the one. But as I rewatched his struggles I realized that in the last decade I had become him. From being a hopeless romantic to holding on to the hope that someone was the one to giving up on love – I’ve experienced all the phases that he went through. And then came an episode that just made a lot of sense to me….
Since, I don’t want to give away spoilers, I’m going to use code names for the characters. X leaves Y at the altar and when asked why he says because she is his “Beinaheleiden Schaftsgegenstand” – which loosely translates to “the thing that is almost the thing you want but not quite.”
My entire dating life over the past few years flashed in front of my eyes. All these situations where I met these seemingly perfect guys that I had a good equation with but every single time it just felt like something was missing. I’ve written about this in my previous dating posts as well – how I’d force myself to keep dating these guys just cause nothing was wrong. And it just made sense – they were the thing that is almost the thing that I want but not quite.
I’ve been told by many friends that I am being picky. But this episode, as fictional as the show is, helped validate my experiences cause I was starting to think that I really might be the problem (I’m not saying I am problem-free). As much as I wanted the guys I dated to be the one, it always just fell a little short. *sigh*
But here’s to not giving up hope – to finding my lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.
Have you watched ‘How I Met Your Mother’?
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Happy Panda 
yeah I’ve watched how I met your mother. I liked it a lot❤️
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I can relate a lot to what you are saying! Everytime I think I find someone who I think may be good either turns out to be an asshole, or turns out not to be into me. Hopefully in time haha
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I believe that we’re better off when we listen to our gut. We don’t always know the specifics when our gut says “no” to us, so it may seem like we’re being picky, but our subconscious mind and our body have picked up on something that won’t make us happy in the long run.
I’ve been in those situations, and only realized after that the alarm went off when I was about to accept someone into my life who was exhibiting behavior I wasn’t yet healed from.
Example: when I hadn’t yet learned to value myself enough, I dated men who wanted me to value them more than they saw value in me! They talked about themselves and didn’t really listen to me if I talked. One man told me he had read one of my books, something I was delighted to hear, but then he said he couldn’t remember a single thing about it. I realized that he had telegraphed to me what our future would be together, that nothing I did or said would leave an impression on him.
The old me would have taken it very personally, that I was lacking and not interesting enough for him, but the 2.0 version of me realized that it was an incompatibility issue, that he didn’t have what I needed! I need to be heard too! I need to be valuable to him to, not just as HIS audience!
When our gut says no, it’s good to listen to it and not just brush it off.
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So funny how much I relate to “the thing that is almost the thing that I want but not quite.”
It really puts me in deep thought as to how many “things” I have around me that are so close but still far from what I actually want.
All the best! ♥️
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Funny, when I was single that was one of the shows I really got into.. I know what you mean about not being picky… and truthfully, I don’t think you’re being picky. I think you want what you want in a guy and that’s okay… also, sometimes we want a certain feeling we get when we meet that person… and you just haven’t felt that yet.. and I think that’s perfectly fine to hold out for that…. it’s messier than getting involved with someone only to find that perfect match for you later one when things may get complicated with more people involved!
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Love it girlfriend! Listen to your heart and that inner voice and it’ll never lead you astray! You’re doing it and it’s gonna turn out awesome, I know it!! 💖💖💖
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I just finished rewatching Friends and was about to start rewatching HIMYM! I was too young to fully understand it when I first started watching but I think HIMYM will be a lot more relatable now as an adult or older adult. Hope you find your lebenslangerschicksalsschatz!
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Even though How I Met Your Mother botched it’s final season, this show will always have a special place in my heart.
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Agreed! I didn’t re-watch the last season. I just couldn’t. It was so bad. Especially that last episode – I remember being so mad when it aired.
But overall – I love the show.
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I have never seen that show. I would look at your dating experiences as having high standards and not settling rather than any other kind of spin someone else might put on it. There are millions of people in the world, and when the right one comes along, you’ll know it. Our son, turning 30 in a few months, went through many of the same things, and then he met the right one. They’re engaged and will be married in about a year. They’re coming out to visit next week—her first time out to visit us here at our house.
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I never completed this series. No idea why. I hope you get to find the guy you are looking for sooner. All the best buddy!
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I started watching HIMYM a few years ago, but I stopped watching after they took it off of Netflix. I like the metaphor. I haven’t thought of it that way. I started dating last year, and I can relate to feeling like you have too high expectations. They seem like a good guy/person, but you don’t quite match with them. I don’t have much in terms of advice, as I’m still not sure what I’m looking for either, but I know that finding love can take time. I wish you all the best!
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